What I Know and What I Am
by Melinda Burming
Summary: They were good for each other, compliments. He dared her to be brave and she taught him to think. How Jax and Tara became Jax and Tara the first time around.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't own the Sons, though like many, I wish I did.**

…

The first day of Senior year and I was already about to be late. I was running across the parking lot to Charming High School, towards Mrs. Palmer's chemistry class when I was nearly run over. Two black and chrome motorcycles flew past me, stopping my heart momentarily. How I had managed to miss the thunderous sounds coming from the machines, I have no idea. Opie Winston and Jax Teller pulled into a nearby parking space, and unlike me seemed to have no worries about arriving to class on time.

In a small town like Charming, everyone knew everyone. I was the same age and Jax and Opie and had grown up with them, though I was never really friends with them. Actually, I wasn't too social with anyone. Having a dead mom and a drunken daddy doesn't do much to help you develop the ability to trust others. My friends were poets and authors who wrote about places I couldn't even imagine.

After four years at this school I was able to find my class quickly and took a seat in the middle of front of the class. Nobody bothered you if you sat in the front. Mrs. Palmer soon afterwards began her annual lectures on the rules and regulations of class and what her expectations were for all of us. Her 30 minute long monotone lecture was almost done when she was interrupted by the door opening.

"Sorry Ma'am." Jax said as he and Opie maneuvered their way through the room.

"Mr. Teller, are your shoes on the wrong feet?" Jax gave a short chuckle,

"What?" He laughed, looking at her as if she had 5 heads.

"Well I was wondering if there was any particular reason you were walking in the opposite direction from my class room moments ago." She pointed towards a window which she must have seen him through. "It would serve you well to not be late to my classroom again." It was clear she wasn't going to put up with his infamous behavior like other teachers, and town members for that matter, did. "Mr. Teller you can take the empty seat in front of Miss Knowles where I can clearly see your cheerful face. Mr. Winston why don't you take a seat over towards the left? Yes, there." Mrs. Palmer then turned to face the class.

"As I was saying prior to our little interruption, get acquainted with these seats because they will be yours for the remainder of the year. The first row will be lab partners with the classmate seated behind them. The next two rows will follow and so forth. Move with your partner to the lab benches on the periphery of the room and to the activity laid out on the tables quietly, I have a headache so try to keep it to a dull roar."

Jax turned around and flashed me a megawatt smile, "Hey, Tara" He said with a knowing head nod towards me. I responded with a quick but polite smile,

"Hi." I could feel a heat rising on my neck. Jax certainly had a dangerous reputation, but he still had a good smile.

"She seems like she's gonna be a bitch this year, huh?"

"I guess." _You have to work with this guy for the whole year, get over it and say more than one syllable,_ "You know, I had her for-" I started to say when David Hale walked over to us.

"Hey, Tara, how's it going?" He asked with a cheerful grin. David was the exact opposite of Jax. Where David was dark and clean shaven Jax was blonde and scruffy. Jax had a natural swagger that accompanied his rebellious lifestyle; David was more literal, and a hardcore rule follower. He was a bit self righteous but all in all a good person.

"I'm okay David," I responded in a polite tone, "how are you?"

"Oh I'm fine, fine…" He trailed off, eyes on Jax.

"You alright over there, Davey?" Jax asked in a sarcastically concerned voice,

"Yeah! I was actually wondering how you were doing, I heard Step-Daddy is spending some time in the San Joaquin County Corrections Facility." David smirked, enjoying the flickers of rage passing through Jack's eyes, "Next time you visit him, say hi for my Dad and I." Knowing where this was probably headed I stood up between the two boys,

"J-Jax, why don't we get started on that activity?" He stood up and followed me to a table sending a warning glare and bumping David's shoulder as he did so.

The assignment Mrs. Palmer had given us was pretty simple, general vocabulary terms and some questions that went along with the first chapter. While I looked over the pages, Jax sat there wringing his hands and looking quite solemn. I didn't want to disturb him but I figured somebody probably should.

"Uhm, do you want to do the vocab part and I'll do the reading questions?" I asked quietly.

He looked up quickly as if I had caught him in a daydream "Yeah, sure" He paused for a minute before looking back up at me "You don't talk much do you?"

"That's… direct." He looked at me, waiting for an answer. "Well, it's not like I'm mute. I talk; I just don't feel the need to…" I looked for the right word

"Talk?" Jax asked with a laugh.

It took a second but I gave in to a little chuckle. "I guess." He ducked down and began looking up definitions in his book. After about twenty minutes of comfortable silence Opie walked over.

"Hey, man, listen, I'm ready to get out of here. Grady's drivin' me crazy over there." I looked to where Opie had been sitting and saw Grady Elfmen scribbling furiously at his paper, apparently failing to notice Opie had left.

"Yeah, I finished this so I'm cool." He grabbed his jacket and turned towards me passing me his definitions, "You coming?" Stunned I looked up him warily,

"Me?"

"Yeah, you! Who else you see me talking to?"

"I can't, I have a couple of things I have to do." Surprisingly, he looked a little disappointed but not enough to take away from his natural air of confidence. "Rain check?" I added for his benefit, knowing full well if he ever asked me again I would decline that offer as well. I just didn't have it in me to skip.

"Sure thing, darlin'" He said with a wink before heading out with Opie.

I watched the window for a while as Jax climbed on his bike then jetted out of the parking lot and after a second pulled out my battered copy of Hamlet, knowing this story could only end badly.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I don't own the Sons, though like many, I wish I did. I hate long author's notes but I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed, I love reviews :) Also, I'm worried about this being a bit out of character, for either of them, so feel free to comment on that in your reviews!**

…

"Ugh!" I sat up in bed and from my mirror on the other side of the room I could tell my hair was not working with me. So it was going to be one of those mornings. _Awesome_. After staring at the closet for a while I settled on my white baby-doll peasant with red embroidery, jeans and sandals. I had no choice but to tame what frizz I could and hope the California breezes would help me with the rest. I headed to the kitchen for breakfast and was surprised to see my dad sitting at the table, mostly conscious and sober.

"Morning, Dad. Want some breakfast?" I laid out some aspirin and a glass of water for him on the table.

"Why are you all gussied up?" He chugged his water.

"Huh? This is how I always look." Shirt, jeans, sandals- pretty standard. "What'll it be?"

"Just gimme toast." He half-mumbled,_ Good enough for me!_ By the time his toast was ready he was getting dozy.

"Hey! Dad!" I shook his shoulder "Dad! I have to go to school now; I'll be back around 2:30, ok?" I took his grunt as acknowledgement of my existence and started the walk to school.

…

Once again, I was saddled with the crap locker. I probably looked like a fool banging and punching the metal door but to no avail.

"Here, let me try." Jax out of nowhere came up, punched and kicked the door at the same time and miraculously opened it perfectly. "See you in chem." He smiled over his shoulder as he walked down the hallway with Opie.

"What a dick!"

"Excuse me?" David was standing beside me and nodded towards Jax.

"He's a punk."

"All he did was help me with my locker, how does that make him a punk?"

"Never mind…" He turned towards me and looked a little surprised, "You look really nice today, Tara."

"Thanks" Again, self-righteous, but harmless.

"I actually came over here because I was wondering if you wanted to go out on Saturday." Just then the bell rang, _Saved by the bell!_

"I don't know if I'm free, but we're gonna be late!"

Surprisingly Jax had beaten me to class, "Fancy seeing you here, I'm surprised you showed up." I teased.

"I'm surprised you spoke up."

"Ha ha, you are just so funny."

"I do what I can." He said with a deadly smile. "Looks like we've got a sub" A skinny, nerdy-looking guy of about 25 walked into the room carrying a briefcase and a whole lot of nerves. "You're gonna have to cash in that rain check."

"What? Oh no, I can't…" He gave me his version of "the look", "Seriously, I have things I have to do today, and I can't just go gallivanting around town!"

"Yeah, like what?" Jax asked knowingly.

"Like…stuff!" Jax's eyebrows rose "Why do you even want me skip with you? I think we have had maybe 5 conversations in the last twelve years, including yesterday and today!"

"Because I think we'll have a lot of fun." I wondered what he considered "fun". He leaned in, "Come on, what's the worst that is gonna happen?" This was a true point, if the school somehow managed to contact my dad telling him I'd skipped, he'd forget before he could do anything about it.

"Where are we gonna go? And how are we gonna get there?" I asked him skeptical.

"You let me worry about that. You in?" How are you supposed to say no to eyes like those?

"Do I have a choice?" I ask standing up.

"Nope" He smiled grabbing my bag and moving for the door,

"Jax, how're we getting out of here?" I ask snatching his sleeve.

"Follow my lead." With that he lead me out of the classroom missing the death stare David Hale gave him as he held the door open for me.

"Shouldn't we be running?" I asked stupidly

"Nah, just act like you're where you're supposed to be, nobody'll ask you questions." He said as he strode across the parking lot…

To his motorcycle.

"You're kidding me, right?" he looked at me as questioningly, "You expect me to get on that?" He hopped on and gave me his helmet and my messenger bag.

"Please, I've been riding longer than I've been walking, you'll be fine." Reluctantly, I grabbed the helmet and put on the bag, while he showed me how to get on while avoiding the hot pipes. "Hold on here and relax, ok?" I managed a "mhmm" as he wrapped my arms around his torso but that was about it.

He carefully pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road. It didn't take long for me to get the hang of being on the back of a bike. Soon we were starting to go faster and it was only a little disconcerting at that point. Normally there were few people on the roads, it's a small town, but seeing as how it was a Thursday afternoon there were even fewer people as most were at work.

We passed by a semi and I held on tighter my cheek against his shoulder. Jax smelled good, almost like cinnamon gum. I was concentrating on that smell when all of a sudden we took a turn onto a small road that I forgot existed on the outskirts of town.

It was beautiful: tall grass on either side, vibrant green trees dotting the pasture and a tall hill on the edge of the field. Jax drove in a bit to a where a large rock and tree rested in the California sun. We got off the bike and I did a slow turn taking in the landscape while Jax laid out a blanket from his bedroll.

"This place is beautiful Jax." I said a little dumbfounded.

"Yeah, my Dad used to take me and my brother here every once in a while when we were little." It occurred to me then that out of the small group, he was the only one left standing; how many other people had he taken here, such a personal place? As if he read my mind he quietly said "I don't take to many people out here" with a small smile.

"Why me?" I realized all I had done this morning was asked him questions.

"I don't know." He said relaxing on the blanket. I felt awkward for a moment knowing personal things about him. Everyone knew about the Tellers, they basically ran the town. I knew of him because of his family's position, but did he know about mine? I felt the need to connect with him, share a piece of me the way he had shared a piece of himself.

"My mom died when I was nine." _That was a bit tactless._ But Jax just looked me in the eyes with a look that told me he understood.

We spent the rest of the morning relaxing on his old blanket talking about random things, of not too much importance. Things like movies, music, embarrassing trips down the school stairs (me) and embarrassing instances of laying down bikes (him).

"Oh! That one looks like a pumpkin!" I said pointing to a cloud quickly passing us as we lay side by side.

"Where?"

"There, see?" I pointed a little left of the tree providing us with cool shade from the hot sun.

"That's not a pumpkin! That's definitely a burger!"

"What? You're crazy!" I laughed

"No, I'm hungry; you want to go grab a bite somewhere?" I checked my watch, 3:15.

"Uhm, I have to get home, do you think you could give me a lift?" I asked trying not to lace my voice with too much fear.

"Sure thing." We packed up and headed towards my house. Jax parked in my drive way and lent me a steadying hand as I dismounted the bike. A loud crash sounded from inside the house. The cutlass was in the garage, so my Dad was home. Jax jumped off his bike.

"Is someone breaking in your house?" He asked looking around the backside and trying to pear through the closed living room curtains.

"No! No, my Dad probably just toppled something over. He's clumsy like that." I laughed giving him his helmet.

"You sure you don't want me to check it out?" He asked concerned as another bang was heard from inside the house.

"Yeah, I'm fine! I'll see you tomorrow!" I smiled desperate to get him to leave.

"Okay, see ya." He said with a tinge of suspicion in his voice as he backed his bike out of the driveway.

"Bye!" I yelled back as I calmly but quickly returned to the house.

I stepped over an overturned chair to reach my dad who was pulling himself up an antique side table surrounded in various crap that he had apparently knocked over.

"Come on, Dad." I laid his heavy arm around my shoulders and grasped around his waist, leading him to the kitchen. He turned to look at me with a look of disgust.

"I don't need you!" He shoved my shoulders hard, causing me to trip and clip my shoulder blade on the wooden arm of the couch. "Good for nothing, just like your mother!" He hollered, rummaging around for his keys. "Where are my keys?" He continued. I could see they were on the ground near the opposite couch but I said nothing, I just sat there trying to attract as little attention as possible. Finally with a loud, and slurred, "Fuck it!" He decided to walk to wherever he was going, probably the bar. I took the opportunity to neaten the house up a bit. If it were up to my father, we would never throw anything out so I had to wait until benders like this one to get the house in order.

After finishing the living room and kitchen, I changed the sheets on his bed and grabbed a bite for dinner before finally resting in my room. I opened my window and laid on my bed thinking about how differently my day had gone compared to what I thought it would be like last time I was in bed. _Not too bad, not too bad at all._ Just as I was staring to drift off the phone. Expecting a call telling me where to pick my dad up I answered in a deadpan voice.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Tara, it's Dave, David Hale?" Fully embarrassed I replied in a more cheerful voice, a little wary he was going to reprimand me for skipping school earlier.

"Hey David, what's up?"

"Well, I was wondering if you still wanted to go out on Saturday?" He sounded nervous.

I took a second to think before answering. What was going on with me and Jax? I liked being near him, he made me laugh, but was earlier just an afternoon between friends? Should I try to see where that could go, outside the realm of friendship? He was kind and I knew there must be something else to him besides just a good smile. I had to remind myself how that would look. The Biker and the nearly-mute girl? Did he even think about me in that way? In all seriousness did I want him to?

Then there was David. He truly was a sweet boy even though he didn't quite like Jax, or tolerate him for that matter. He just liked order, due process. He didn't like anyone thinking they were better than anyone. He had always been nice to me, a person to sit next to at lunch, but we never hung out outside of school; except for those blew moons when my dad found Jesus and I sat with him in church. But he would be a nice companion, someone to see a movie with, enjoy a night for change. If I didn't grow to have the kind of feeling he had for me, I doubt he would hold it against me.

"Hello? Tara, you still there?" David asked uneasily.

"Yeah David, I'm still here."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I don't own the Sons, though like many, I wish I did. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It makes me want to work even harder to give you guys a great story! :) I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter the end might be a tad melodramatic, but, it's a little long (9 pages!) so that's a plus. I'm also a little iffy about how it kicks off. Notice that I revised the grade of Jax and Tara, now they are in Junior year, sorry about that! **_**Also,**_** I'm not sure how long it'll stick, so sorry :]. Anyways, tell me what you thought or how you think it could be better when you review!**

…

Friday had to be the longest day in existence. My dad's bender was coming to a close and he was pissed because of all of the work he had missed. Then, all of my teachers decided to kick the year off right and give me papers upon papers to finish within a week.

To top it off I was having regrets. Last night I had decided to give David a chance and had said yes but as I walked into chemistry and saw my lab partner sitting there in a beaten up blue plaid flannel my breath caught a little. Should I really be going on a quasi-date with someone if my breath hitches every time I see someone else? I move towards my seat catching a smile from Jax when suddenly I am intercepted by an overly zealous David.

"Hey Tara!" He says with a cheese eating smile

"Hey David." I said trying to sound equally enthused.

"I'm excited for tomorrow night, anything in particular you want to do?" He asks loud enough, probably purposeful if I know him, for Jax to hear. I take a quick peek at his face and he seems equal parts confused, intrigued and pissed.

"Nothing in particular." I say shyly moving past Jax to get to my seat trying to put some distance in between David and myself.

"Do you want me to pick you up?" Panic floods me for a second. David's father is on the force, if he sees my father, God know what he'll tell his own. I keep my cool and smoothly tell him that I have a lot of errands to do tomorrow and it would be easier to meet him where ever he wants to go. He seems to buy it and I ignore the look of contemplation on Jax's face.

"How about we meet at Lumpy's? Maybe around 7?" David suggests.

"Yeah that sounds good!" I smile. Mrs. Palmer comes in and I can tell the lesson is going to be more of the same. Rumor has it that she is retiring after this year and really doesn't care about teaching us anymore. I wouldn't normally believe the rumors but seeing as how she doesn't even take attendance before setting us off with another partner work packet, I'm inclined to believe them. However we do have a mini-experiment to do today.

Jax and I worked silently across from each other at our bench for a while. I had no idea what to say. I had fun yesterday and the more I thought about going out with David, the less I wanted _Jax_ to think about us going out. I figured I should say something neutral, to let him know I had fun. Then at least the next part of the discussion will be out of my hands, he'd have to choose where to direct the conversation.

"Yesterday was fun, I don't normally do stuff like that." I said with an insecure voice.

"Yeah it was." He said quietly as well. "What's up with Davey?" He asked with a nod in his direction.

"I don't really know. He thinks that tomorrow is more of a date and I'm not so sure." Giving him a half smile I return to my work preparing the test tube for heating to test the interaction between two chemicals.

"You ready to heat that bad boy up?" Jax asked in a seemingly better mood after a bit. I wanted to believe it's because I said tomorrow wasn't a date but I knew better. I nodded and watched him light the Bunsen burner before passing him the test tube. "Why are you handing it to me?"

"I don't trust myself with these things."

"Ahh you'll do fine!" he laughed. Following his lead I took the test tube and pointed it at an angle away from the both of us. He was right, I did fine.

That was until the test tube overheated, broke, and caused the contents to fall into the open flame. I jumped and fell backwards from the brightly colored flames. Jax uttered a "Holy shit!" at the same time as he reached for the baking soda before the extinguishing the flames. Mrs. Palmer gave us a disapproving look and scolded us for a bit before returning to her desk. I sat in a stunned silence on the floor with a throbbing headache after I hit my head on a desk, while Jax rested his hands on his knees hunched over taking a deep breath.

"Told you so…" I moaned.

"We should take you to the nurse, get that skull of yours checked out." He suggested as David rushed over.

"You alright, Tara?" He looked me over.

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm gonna go down to the nurse I think, get my head checked out."

"I'll take you." Jax offered while David stepped closer to me.

"I can do that, Teller." While this show of dominance was endearing, it was also impractical.

"It's fine, Jax can take me. No reason for your group to get held up too." He looked disapproving which bothered me a bit. I _wasn't_ his girlfriend and I didn't appreciate the possessive tint his eyes were showing. "It's really ok."

He seemed to relent and stepped back towards his desk. Jax reached his hand out to pull me up, which brought on a wave of dizziness.

"Whoa there, you alright?" I grasped his forearm trying to orient myself. After a moment the world righted itself and I responded.

"Little wobbly" I smile embarrassed, getting my bearings. We walk down the hall towards the nurse in a weird silence.

"Boyfriend seemed a little touchy about us walking to the nurse together. Bit possessive isn't he?"

"He's not my boyfriend, just a friend."

"Your 'friend' thinks you're going on a date with him this weekend." He says with raised eyebrows.

"I know it's a bit awkward. I said yes when he asked because I wanted to be a good person. He's the only person who seems to have an interest in me, romantic or not. So we talk. He's the one person I talk to in this school, with the exception of you lately." I smile at him before looking back down to the ground. He smiles back but is silent. For some odd and definitely unfamiliar reason I can't seem to shut up, "but it's different being with you than him. With him I get tired thinking all the time about what to say so that he'll agree and I don't have to listen to what he has to say about my opinion." Unintentionally, that gets a chuckle from Jax, "That sounded bad! I just meant sometimes his opinions about right and wrong can slam down without room for thought, even about simple things like coffee hour snacks. But with you, I can just talk." I spill out quickly. He looked at me like he was going to burst out laughing and was trying not to. I realized the irony in all that I had just ranted. "Apparently sometimes too much." Thoroughly self-conscious I looked to see what he was going to say.

"It's aright" He said in that native Californian-relaxed tone of his. "I like hearing what you have to say." And like the sweet talker he was, Jax opened the door to the nurse's office for me, smirking as I walked past.

…

By the time Saturday rolled around my mood regarding the evening had improved. Maybe that was the pain pills I got for my head but I was happy. Nothing had to happen tonight with David. I could just enjoy my night out with a friend. Plus my dad had revived his liver exercises. By the time I left he was too far gone to miss the cutlass, which I took the liberty of borrowing. I figured better I had it than the drunk.

As I pulled into Lumpy's diner I could see the nervous energy beaming off of David who was seated by the window. I smiled and headed in.

"Hey Tara!" Deena, the hostess greeted me, "David's waiting for you just over there."

"Thanks." As I approached the little table he was sitting at David stood up and pulled out my chair.

"Hey, Tara! You look really nice tonight!" he said enthusiastically. I wasn't dressed up too much. Just a simple tank top but I had felt like a skirt tonight. I never wore skirts, but why not?

"Thanks, you too!" he pushed me in and sat down opposite me.

"Hungry much?" He asked looking at the menu.

"I'm actually not that hungry, I'm thinking about getting some ice cream though." He smiled and agreed. The evening was much more pleasant than I thought it would be. We both got ice cream for dinner and were enjoying teasing each other about flavor choices. He got strawberry while I got coffee. He was funny and charming. We talked about future plans; where I had no idea what I wanted to do David was dead set on a career in law enforcement just like his father. We had been there for about 2 hours just talking about nothing when finally we landed on Mrs. Palmer

"I mean seriously! What is she still doing there?" Laughing, I emphasized with my now soupy ice cream, accidentally flicking a bit onto David. "Oh no! I'm so sorry!" We continued laughing. I dipped my napkin in my water and dabbed at his shirt. "There, all better!"

"Thanks a lot!" He laughed before dying down a bit. "You know, you seem to be getting friendlier with Jax Teller." _There it is._

"Yeah I have, he's a nice guy." I said, neutrally slurping another sip of my melted ice cream.

"You honestly believe that? That biker gang is killing this town Tara, never mind who they _actually_ kill! Jax is bad news!" David said his voice and anger elevating with each word.

"Do you even know him?" I ask getting defensive "Have you ever even spoken to him without accusing him of something? What about in 9th grade when you blamed him for tagging the dugout and it was really Anthony Trokovsky?" By the end of my little tirade my voice was raised enough for Deena and the one other patron, a trucker to look in our direction.

"Tara, SAMCRO is fucking white trash shit and so is everyone else in this town that agrees with what they do to it!"

"They are looking out for this town!"

"When have they ever done anything for you? They ever stop your Daddy from beating on you?" I stare at him shocked, my mouth visibly gapping. I had never told him about that.

"How-"

"Come on, Tara! My dad's a cop, I know all about your old man!" He spit, "I thought you were better than this, Tara." He spoke with a tight mouth. Where did he have the right to tell me he thought _I_ was a better person? I thought _he_ was a better person!

"What do you mean, 'better than this'?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. They are despicable people, Tara, white trash. I thought you were like me and better than that but I guess it turns out you're just another stupid biker slut!" He spat before slapping down a twenty and bolting.

I sat in the booth momentarily stunned by what had just transpired. All too quickly tears flooded my eyes and just as quickly I ran from the restaurant towards the cutlass. In my haste I tripped over one of the cement blocks that marked the parking spaces. Not even feeling the blood dripping down my knee I hurried to the car.

My instincts told me not to drive when I could barely see straight because of the tears but I didn't care. I wanted to be anywhere but there. Anywhere at all seemed like a better option. How could I have been so wrong about him?

Like always the seat belt wouldn't work and I gave off a frustrated scream before it finally clicked. I peeled out of the parking lot and headed down Main Street not caring that at 9 pm a cutlass hauling ass down the strip was most likely going to attract the attention of Unser or whoever else was on duty that night, even though they would probably stop me, suspecting me to be my father. As I pulled onto a side road I had one thought: _Get home, get home now_. But the more I thought about it the less comforting this seemed. _What if Dad figured out I took the cutlass? What if he's mad? At the very least, what if he's there?_

It was around this moment that I noticed through my tears the bright red stop sign about 15 feet ahead and slammed on the brakes. At the speed I was going I could have stopped except for the sand on the road which slid me through the stop sign. I braced myself as I suddenly saw a black van that had the right of way crossing the intersection, obviously not seeing me unable to break. The front of the cutlass hit the tail end of the van, spinning the van and pointing it right at me with it's headlights blinding me.

I opened my eyes to see the entire hood of the cutlass crumpled and the van facing me. At this point I was hyperventilating, unable to catch my breath. It didn't help as a group of 5 or 6 men jumped out of the van, all dressed in black, guns blazing and trained on me. Aside from the general shape of them, I couldn't focus long enough to identify them.

"What the fucking shit?" One yelled

"Do not MOVE! Who are you?" The thing is, if you can't breathe, it's really fucking hard to talk. The men yelled kept yelling but I couldn't focus enough to understand what they were saying. Sobbing uncontrollably, all I did was raise my hands off the steering wheel. I didn't realize they were unable to see into my car because of the cutlass' bright head lights. Two motorcycles circled back, and I saw the outlines of their owners dismount the bikes and point more guns at me. I struggled to take in frenzied lungfuls of air as two men came at the car guns still held high with menacing looks covered across their faces.

A chubby older man made his way beyond the point where the lights blinded him and spun quickly on me, maybe expecting me to be pointing a gun right back at him. I gave a small scream and covered my face with my hands, not wanting to see my death coming.

"Shit! It's a girl!" I looked up to see a man with crazy curly hair in a jean shirt covered in a leather jacket with white trim, lowering his weapon and signaling for the others to do the same.

"So?" The second man who had made his way to the passenger side, questioned with a raspy voice. "We don't know who she is." He continued in a perfectly calm and oddly logically manner. The first man gave him a look while the rest of the men moved, albeit cautiously, to surround the car and all seemed uncomfortable in the presence of a young girl who was in hysterics. Clay Morrow emerged from the small pack and came to my window which had been rolled down earlier to let the cool September breeze in.

"You ok, kid? What's your name?" His face was, as weird as this sounds, majestic. His grey hair framed a face that looked worn, accompanied by light blue eyes and a prominent jaw. I tried to speak but the crying, hyperventilating and fear choked my voice.

"T-T-T-T-" I tried to say through but my diaphragm was freaking out, causing me to take big gulping breaths in between syllables.

"Shit! Tara!" Out of nowhere Jackson Teller had moved the other man away from my window and was opening my door. "Jesus Christ! Are you ok? Are you hurt?" Madly his eyes swept over me looking for non-existent wounds and blood while I shook my head, "Is your knee hurt?" I had forgotten about that, once again I shook my head no. His hands swept the hair away from my face and unbuckled me from the car, once again pulling me up from the wreckage I had created. Standing, I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly closing my eyes. His body encompassed me, surrounding me with the scent of spicy cinnamon.

"It's ok." He whispered into my ear then once again louder for the rest of the men to hear. "She's my friend." After a minute or so I was able to grab a hold of myself and pull it together. "Why you crying so hard? It's just a little fender bender. Sorry about the guys, can never be too cautious this time of night, you know?" He joked trying to lighten some obvious tension. It finally truly dawned on me that I had crashed the cutlass, looking at it from outside the car; it wasn't just a little fender bender- it was really fucked up. Really fucked up equals really fucking expensive to fix. My breath hitched once again as this reality crashed down on me.

"Tara, seriously are you ok, what's going on?" Jax asked growing evermore concerned by my lack of ability to keep it together.

"D-D-David and I-I" I tried, "we-we fought and I was-was driving home and slid on-n th-the sand and hit you!" I finally got out. Jax rubbed my back trying to soothe me with a look of obvious but so far contained rage spilling across his face. A dull pain radiated through my shoulder as he rubbed it.

"Ahh!" I let out through my now quiet sobs._ Fuck!_ I had forgotten about the bruise, which must be decent sized by now, from falling into the couch when picking out my shirt choice tonight. My head dropped into my hands as Jax looked around to see what was wrong.

"What the-" Quickly he came around to face me "Did Hale do this to you? And your knee?" Expecting me to confirm he looked at the other guys with a gaze of fury. If I knew anything in this world, it was that I _never_ wanted to be on the receiving end of that look.

"No! No I tr-tripped at Lumpy's" And without thinking, probably due to exhaustion or maybe due to the fact that I couldn't seem to stop talking around Jax I continued "And my shoulder is from my Dad. My god, when he sees the cutlass-" That snapped Jax's attention towards me in shock.

"Your dad did this to you?" A man I recognized as Opie's father Piney asked._ God how am I gonna get myself out of this one?_

The truth was, I was tired. Tired of lying to my Dad to avoid setting him off, tired of covering up for that drunken asshole with make-up and more lies. I was done. I lowered my head and after a brief pause I nodded. I could tell what Jax wanted to do, but I couldn't let him. I held onto his forearm, even as he tried to pull away,

"Jax, please don't," I whispered to him, "Please." I tried to beg through my eyes.

It looked like Clay had been in thought for a while when he turned toward all of us. "Listen up, this what's gonna happen. We're gonna head back to TM. Jax, you and Tara?" He looked at me making sure this was indeed my name, I nodded, "You and Tara are gonna go to her house grab her things then take her to our place."

"You really don't have to, I'll be fine!" I said.

"Not a question, sweetheart." Jax said shaking me with the arm he had resting over my shoulders. Clay continued,

"Tig, your gonna come back with me to get the cutlass with the tow, we'll start on it tomorrow." That I really couldn't accept.

"Mr. Morrow, my Dad won't- I can't…" I stumbled trying to convey that I couldn't afford that. He raised his hand as if to silence me.

"Don't worry about it kiddo, it's on us. 'Sides, not many options short of abandoning it here, is there?" He asked with knowing and almost kind eyes.

"Guess not." I smiled shyly.

The ride over to TM was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. There was a difference between seeing the club out and about in the streets and being in their territory, in their van. They were a bit crasser but I could tell they were limiting themselves around me. Or at least some of them. Jax never took his arm off of my shoulders and I was surprised by how much that small contact comforted me.

At TM I hopped on the back of his bike for the third time in three days and held on just as tight as the first time. I wasn't sure whether I was scared of what I was leaving behind or heading into. Either/or being this close to Jax relieved my worry.

"Don't pull into my driveway." I advised him. "It'll wake my Dad up." He parked a little down the block in front of the Hendersons. "You can wait here; I'll just be a second."

"No can do, Darlin'. Where you go, I go." Jax said with a magnetic smile.

"OK, just…follow my lead, ok?" He nodded and followed me to the house. Per usual, the door was left unlocked. Dad was passed out on the living room floor. The house was a mess. I'm willing to bet he realized the cutlass was gone and flipped. Stepping over him and various now-broken possessions words could not describe the shame I felt as I looked back at Jax.

"Be right back." I told him leaving him by the door. I threw a few things into my bag, grabbed my toothbrush and headed back to Jax. My dad started to stir and grabbed my ankle as I stepped over him, tripping me.

"Where are you going?" He growled not moving from the floor. Jax made a threatening move towards my Dad but I held up my hand, stopping him. I had done this many times before without his help. Starting a brawl with my drunken father would only make one of the worst nights of my life even worse.

I laid back down and put my head on the floor, in my dad's eye line and began in a quiet voice, almost a whisper, "I'm just going out for a bit, Dad. Go back to sleep." He was too gone to do any real damage now. He was a crazy man in a lot of pain and the easiest way to dull the pain was to be nice to him before you sent him to deal with his alcohol induced nightmares, "Do you want to go to bed?" I asked in a soothing voice slowly reaching out towards him, like reaching out to a wild animal. He merely groaned which I took as a yes. "Ok, here we go." I tried to pull him up by myself but he was 180 pounds of dead weight.

"Here…" Jax came over and solemnly gave me a hand. Together we led my father to his room and placed him on the bed and he was asleep before I closed the door.

"He always like this?" I didn't know what I hated more, the look of pity or ire that cohabitated on his face.

"Please, tonight was a good night." I tried to laugh. When that failed I just walked back out the door leading Jax away from the house while he carried my bag.

Within a few minutes we were at his house. He led me through the front door when we were met with an angry Gemma Teller-Morrow. She looked fierce as she stared Jax down.

"Where the hell have you been? You all were supposed to be back an hour ago!"

"Sorry! We ran into a bit of a situation on the way back."

"She the 'situation'" Gemma gave me a once over and it appeared she didn't like what she saw.

"She's my friend, Ma. Just needs someplace safe to stay."

"Friend, huh?" She was still looking at me. I realized Jax had said nearly the exact same thing to me earlier that day in almost the exact same tone of voice. Jax gave Gemma an equally threatening stare. I started to get the feeling he was the only person on this planet that would be able to pull that off. "Fine, show her to the spare room." She fumed silently. "And call next time!" She yelled after him.

Jax led me upstairs to a room right next to his. "Thanks for everything."

"S'no problem, Darling."

"By the way, what were you all doing?" I asked out of curiosity. He didn't seem to understand what I meant. "Earlier tonight, why were you all out, driving around in a van of all things?" I laughed

"Picking Clay up from the big house." He beamed

"Oh god! I probably completely ruined his home coming."

"Don't you worry about that. Sleep well, K?" He leaned over putting a hand on my hip and kissed the side of my mouth. With that he closed my door leaving me standing there shocked. I walked over to the bed and laid down, trying to process the last 3 hours. A minute or so later I heard raised voices. Growing up in a drunkard's household I was a pro at eavesdropping.

"What are we now? A charity house?" Gemma's voice rang out

"What was I supposed to do? Send her home to get beat by the drunk? Besides you're the one who's always setting up fundraisers for the town! Though maybe we should own that image!" Clay replied.

"She's bad news Clay!" She said her voice changing to a stern low tone.

"She's a little girl, what harm can she do us?"

"Not Sam Crow, Jax!" Gemma hissed.

"Ha! That's what you're worried about?" Clay mused.

"She has him all wrapped up. Saw it from the minute he walked in with her! If this starts, then goes sour? Shit, she'll eat him up and spit him out."

"Gem, relax! The kid is 17, this ain't going nowhere! What, you think they're gonna up and get married or some shit like that? She looked smarter than some dumb ol' crow eater. Besides, they're just friends; she was on a date with someone else tonight! So calm down and stop worrying! Now let's get to my homecoming party, I'm ready to get drunk." Clay reassured her. It apparently worked as I could hear two pairs of footsteps as he led her out the door presumably to the clubhouse.

I crawled back into my bed, resigned and ready to spend another night staring at the ceiling, wondering if Jax had just heard the same exchange I had and what he thought of it.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I don't own the Sons, though like many, I wish I did. Remember to tell me what you think in a review. I love each of them especially my faithful readers who review each chapter! If you want more or less of something than feel free to comment, good or bad!**

…

I tossed and turned but couldn't get to sleep. After about 15 minutes I figured I'd get a glass of water. Carefully, so as not to wake Jax in the next room, I tiptoed to the kitchen. I searched in the large kitchen for the cabinets for the glasses.

"Looking for something?" A voice called out from the living room giving me a start. Jax lounged on the couch clad only in sweat pants reading a book.

"Oh, hi!" I uttered stupidly, "Yeah, I'm just looking for a glass of water. Can't sleep." I was dressed in my standard pajamas, a tank top and yoga pants. Though I was covered and dressed pretty modestly, for some reason I felt bare in front of him. It made me wonder what it must feel like to have someone who knew you. I mean, _truly_ knew you, beyond what the world saw, beyond what you saw.

"I can help you out with that." He offered laying his book down. He moved to a cabinet I had not checked yet. Reaching up, strong muscles stretched under the soft skin of his back.

"What book are you reading?" I ask trying to keep the tone of my voice level.

"Nicholas Nickelby" He answered handing me my cup.

"Dickens?" I ask between sips. I would not take the "big, bad, biker" to be the classics type.

"I can read" He says in a mock defensive tone. "So, you can't sleep huh?"

"Little wired, why are you up?" I ask taking another sip.

"Somebody's got to keep an eye on you." _Oh, God!_

"You really don't have to, I'm ok. Besides I'm sure you'd much rather be at Clay's homecoming party." He gave me a weird look.

"Do you trust me?"

"Nope." I deadpanned.

"I've got an idea."

…

I never expected my night would turn out anything like this. At 7 o'clock I had been talking to David over ice cream at Lumpy's. By 11 I was pulling into a convict's "Welcome Home" party on the back of a motorcycle in the company of a boy I barely knew.

"Here we are." Jax announced as we dismounted the bike. The guest of honor had been there for no more than 45 minutes and many people were already fall down drunk. Croweaters were tripping and falling into the laps of very welcoming men, flames were lapping at an unattended barbeque. Drunken men cheered on as two others fought in a boxing ring.

Beside me Jax was saying hey to every other person and giving handshakes and hugs out left and right. I leaned over to him, "Are you sure it's ok that I'm here?" Across the parking lot I saw Gemma spot us and narrow her eyes taking in our proximity.

"Yeah, why not?" He asked slinging an arm around my shoulders.

"Your mother doesn't seem too happy to see me." I showed Jax where his mother stood, looking at us over Clay's shoulder.

"You let me worry about my mother." He ground out staring in her direction as well, communicating in a language that only they shared. I followed him into the party smiling at greasy, mostly older men as Jax introduced them to me.

"Are they all part of the club?"

"Nah, some are but a lot are just friends and hang-arounds."

"Jax! How you doin' kid? Happy the geezer is out of the can?" A graying-man who had not been in the van but still wore a cut, asked coming up behind and shaking Jax and therefore me.

"You know it! Hey Quinn, this is Tara." Quinn stuck his hand out and when I placed mine in his kissed it as if he were kissing a woman rather than the back of a hand. I gave Jax a bit of a shocked look and he gently pulled me away.

"Hands off, you dirty old man!" He laughed, "Quinn is our VP." We said a few more biker formalities before moving on. Opie suddenly was in front of us.

"Brother!" Jax yelled pulling him into a hug. Opie looked surprised and almost happy to see me with Jax.

"Hey Tara." I smiled and said hello back.

"Are we hanging here tonight?" Jax asked Opie. I tried very hard to focus on only Opie as an older and tubbier man started to strip a whiles behind him.

"I lifted some pot off the old man, figured we could go to the old orchard." Opie suggested before looking over his shoulder with a wink towards me, "Besides I think Tara might pass out if she's sees anymore Tito."

"Sound good?" Jax asked me.

"Uhm, I just need a bathroom first."

"Sure, it's just down the hall to the right in the back of the clubhouse." His eyes squinted at me, "Are you ok?"

I swallowed back the mild panic and unease that were growing in me, "Oh, yeah! No, I'm fine; I'm just going to…" I smiled awkwardly as I headed towards the clubhouse navigating through the throngs of bikers. The music got even louder as I entered the smokey building and maneuvered around drunken and touchy men and scantily clad women. The difference between me and the other women in the room was obvious. For starters, you could see none of my undergarments. After Jax had invited me to the party I had changed out of my pajamas and into my standard attire: purple blouse, jeans and boots. Plus I wasn't rubbing up and down on anything wearing a cut as Jax called them. Finally I reached the hallway Jax had been talking about. I started trying the doors along the long hallway. The first led to a closet with linens, pillows, toothbrushes and such. The next led to a room completely filled with cardboard boxes some labeled "CAUTION: FLAMMABLE"; I quickly, yet gently, closed the door to that room. I came upon another door and again cautiously opened it.

"Oh my God!" I screeched. I had walked in on two women and a man engaging in something I couldn't even begin to describe. They either didn't hear me or didn't care, I'd bet on the latter, as they continued their "activities" without as much as a glance towards the door. I hurried out and down the hall trying to put as much distance as possible between us when I finally came upon the bathroom and locked myself in.

_What in the hell am I doing here?_ My growing feelings for Jax were at war with my logic and reason –ruled brain. Jax was one of the most remarkable people I had ever met, but this was crazy. Could I really envision this as a typical night? If we got together would this be what I had to look forward to?

And yet I still had this tugging at the back of my mind from my more emotion-ruled heart. He was fun to be around and I had never felt safer than when he had held me tonight. Spending the day with him in that field had been the most liberating feeling I had felt in ages. I felt as though I could trust him, that he would be true to his word.

_What if he didn't like me as much as I thought I liked him? He could just be trying to be a good person._ The thoughts tumbled over all others. All of this internal debating meant nothing if he didn't like me the same way. _What other reason does he have for being so kind if he doesn't like me like that though?_

Someone knocked at the door breaking me from my train of thought. Why do you say at this type of party? "I'll be out in a minute!" seemed kind of stupid to ay to a biker.

"Tara, its Jax" After contemplating for a second I walked over to the door and unlocked it, allowing him into the small room. I bit my lip unable to look him in the eye.

"Hey, you ok?" His eyes showed genuine concern.

"What am I doing here, Jax?" I asked on the edge of a frenzy. Expecting a joke answer, Jax surprised me.

"I think you know what you're doing here, Tara." He was looking me dead in the eyes entrancing me instantaneously. Answering my silent question of 'what?' he continued, "There is something here," He gestured between us, "and I'm not gonna ignore that and neither should you." He took a step closer to me and once again my breath caught as I constantly looked into his eyes.

"You barely know me, and I barely know you." I held trying to retain some reason.

"We fit together; I know that about you…" He whispered coming closer leaning his forehead against mine grasping my hands. Being this close to him was acutely painful especially as his whiskered face began to move along my jaw.

"We're moving too quickly…"I whispered back talking about the relationship; not speaking about the nuzzling, he could keep doing that. He straightened to look me in the eyes again.

"Says who?"

"Says m-mmm!" Jax had grasped me behind the neck and pulled me in for a kiss. At first I resisted from pure shock but as his soft lips passed over mine I understood what he had been trying to tell me. Yes, it was completely ludicrous that the two of us should be together; it went against most laws of the universe. But for the life of me I could not remember a time when I had felt more safe, protected and happy, even when my mom was alive. All of a sudden, in the midst of the most glorious first kiss that had ever existed I had an epiphany: I could love him. It would be so easy for me to fall, head first, utterly and completely in love with Jax Teller. He was right, there was something here that should not be ignored, otherwise we risked metal illness. We could figure out the rest along the way. He gently laid a few light kisses on my lips before pulling back. It took me a second to open my eyes.

"I know you, Tara Knowles." He whispered confidently, "you ready to head back out there?" At this point I didn't trust myself to speak so I nodded instead. We emerged from the bathroom to a boisterous crowd many of whom clapped or cat-called.

"Hey, Ope!" Jax shouted from across the clubhouse getting his attention before we made our way over to him.

"You guys ready?" Opie asked.

"I'm ready if you are." Jax mused.

"Where you go, I go."

…

For the second time tonight, or really the first time today, Jax ushered me to the spare bedroom next to his room. It was nearly 3 in the morning and I was half dead. I couldn't remember how I had not fallen off his bike as he drove him from the orchard. We had spent a few hours there joking and laughing with Opie. The boys had toked up, offered some to me but I declined and they didn't pressure me. I was so tired the growling of the bike didn't even faze me on the drive back.

"Goodnight Tara." He laughed at my half-awake stance as I leaned against the doorway.

"Goodnight" I smiled and he turned towards his room.

"Wait!" I abruptly yelled, and just as quickly realized I had to say something. _Live on the edge! _"You can…sleep in here." I paused "That is if you want to." He gave me a half smile and looked at me like I was crazy. "Never mind." I laughed trying to play down my embarrassment. I turned into the room and was surprised when he followed me in.

"Just don't kick me" He said as we took our shoes off. I gave him a dirty yet playful look.

"Just don't try anything funny" He returned the look.

"Wouldn't dream of it." I hoped that was a lie but unfortunately I was unable to see if it was. The second my head laid down on his warm chest I forgot I was still in my clothes, I forgot about what David had said, about my Dad, what Gemma said, I forgot everything. I just closed my eyes and drifted off into a peaceful slumber.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I don't own the Sons, though like many, I wish I did. **

**For clarification, because some were confused, "Flash Forward" wasn't a time jump, it was more like a preview, just an idea that popped into my head, to give you guys a little teaser of where the story might progress to. I realized it might not have gone over well, so I replaced it with Chapter 4, but I just thought I should clear that up for you guys :) It may or may not show up later in the story but we'll get there when we get there. **

**This Chapter is pretty quick, but I'm hoping you'll be pleased all the same. As always, thanks to my devoted readers, especially **_Zazzles, Kas19, belle717, shl,_** and others who regularly review, I love them all. Remember to tell me what you do (not) like so I can take that into consideration as I write.**

…

Jax had a look of discontent as he dropped me off at my house Sunday evening. My dad seemed sober as he peeked through the curtain to the living room with an expression equally grim.

"You sure you want to do this? You can always stay at my house another night."

"And deal with a possessive, mildly-hung-over Gemma? I'll pass" She had not been thrilled when she arrived home to see us in bed together, no matter the fact that were both still dressed. Jax and I had returned to the field we visited on Thursday and enjoyed the sun before going for a bike ride around town, finally stopping for dinner at Lumpy's which went much better than my previous visit. After such an eventful weekend, I was much more comfortable on the back of a bike. I smirked giving his helmet back. He didn't return the smile.

"You'll call if he gives you any problems, right?" He asked, still looking at my dad.

"I promise." I grinned, happy that he cared. "Go on, I'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow." Slowly and begrudgingly he turned his bike back on and pulled out of the driveway. I watched him glide down the street before heading into the house and facing my father.

"Hey Dad." I chirped trying to not show the worry I felt.

"You dating him?" He grumbled moving over to the couch.

"I…I don't know really." It was the truth. Jax and I had kissed last night and today. We had kissed a lot today. But I didn't know if we were "together". I didn't know if Jax was a relationship kind of guy. "Did you eat dinner yet?" When he shook his head I fixed him some chicken and broccoli which he accepted with few gripes. As I cleaned up his plate he saw the bruise on my shoulder.

"Did I do that?" He nodded to my shoulder with a tight jaw, his stoic face showing hints of shame.

"You didn't mean to." I murmured quietly drying the pots.

"The house looks good. I have new sheets." He continued.

"I cleaned on Thursday; it's not a big deal." I put the pots away and steeped some tea for my Dad.

"I can drive you to school tomorrow, when I go into work if you'd like." He almost seemed nervous, as if I would turn him down. My heart jumped into my throat, _the cutlass!_ "Don't worry about it, Clay Morrow called this afternoon and said one of the club members hit you yesterday. He's taking care of the car and I got Henry to lend me his Volvo, so if you need a ride I can give you one." Henry was one of my dad's usual drinking partners.

"That would be nice." I assured him.

"You're a good girl, Tara. Your mother would be proud of you." He said quietly as I handed him his tea.

"Thanks, Daddy."

…

"Tara!" It seemed David had been waiting for me. As soon as my father pulled away David was there. "Please let me apologize."

"I don't want to talk to you, David." I muttered pushing past him. He just followed me into the school.

"Tara, I'm really sorry! I shouldn't have said all of those things." He pleaded.

"I know." I agreed darkly sarcastic.

"I don't know what I was thinking." He started scrambling,

"I'm pretty sure you thought I was a whore. No, I'm sorry, a slut." I could see him trying to find a way to amend the situation. "Just go away David." I sighed approaching my locker. This sassiness felt good and I wondered where it came from.

"I'm sorry!" David repeated while I turned away, "Tara! Listen to me!" He demanded grabbing my wrist like vice.

"Ow!"

"Get your hands off of her." Out of nowhere Jax and Opie had appeared each looking equally pissed.

"You don't tell me what to do, Teller…" David growled even though he released my wrist. I moved towards Jax who was nearly shaking from holding himself back. "I'm not scared of you." _Bullshit._ I laid a hand on Jax's chest attempting to help him remember and restrain himself. The bell rang, letting us know we were officially late for class.

"You fucking better be, and you damn sure better listen to me when you touch my girlfriend." _What?_ David's head snapped towards me and I stared back still in minor shock.

"I guess maybe I wasn't so wrong." He seethed. I think David had said this to try to insult me without saying the insult because Jax was there. Unfortunately, this backfired on David because I had told Jax exactly what had transpired between the two of us the previous day. Opie, anticipating what Jax was going to do, tried to pulled me out of the way as Jax lunged towards David.

"Jax! Stop!" I hollered putting myself between the two. I put my hands on his face and forced him to tear his eyes away from David. "All this would do is prove his point and we both know you are better than that. So, here, carry my books and walk me to English." I suggested offering my books to him.

He still seemed livid but after thinking it over for a second he muttered a dark "yeah" before taking my books and leading me away.

"So…what was that about?" I questioned when we were a safe distance away from David. Jax almost stopped short.

"You serious? He was hurting you!" He proclaimed half-stunned.

"No! No, I mean you called me… your…you know…girlfriend…" I stammered awkwardly. This seemed to shock Jax even more. "I mean we never said in such uncertain terms…"

Jax stepped in front of me forcing me to back into a set of lockers. Putting one hand on either side of my head, he leaned into me, giving me a hard kiss on the mouth. He pulled away and gave me that heart stopping grin he had seemed to perfect.

"Tara Knowles," He began in an indulgent tone, "would you be my girlfriend?"

"That sound very nice to me." I beamed. He leaned in for a kiss,

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Just before our mouths met I ducked under his arm and flitted down the hallway a bit smiling back at Jax, _my boyfriend_. I smiled at the thought.

"Oh-ho! You're gonna get it now!" He teased chasing me through the empty halls to English.

…

The rest of the day past uneventfully. In chemistry I persuaded Jax to just ignore David and it was only a little awkward when we both needed the sink to wash out our test tubes. In truth, I felt bad. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed David's company until he wasn't there anymore.

"What are you doing today?" Jax asked leaning against my neighbor's locker.

"Nothing, I was just gonna go home, do some homework, some studying." I smiled at him, "Why? Do you have any other ideas?"

"I might. I have to work but I was thinking you could do some of that nerdy stuff at TM. Keep me company."

"Alright." I couldn't stop smiling around him. He held my hand and led me across the school yard towards the parking lot. Opie ran and caught up to us.

"Check it out." He laughed pointing a group of girls who were staring at us. "Looks like Tara's a got a big green target on her now."

"Awesome," I said sarcastically. Deep down though, this was kind of fun. I bet half of these people didn't even remember what I looked like a week ago.

Once we got to the garage, or TM as the boys referred to it as, I set up at a picnic table by the clubhouse while Jax and Opie got to work on the cutlass. In between math problems I would take beaks to just watch Jax work. He looked heartbreakingly good as he continued working on the car. After an hour or two he and Opie took a break enjoying beers as they sat by me.

"I don't know Ope; we may have to go knocking in some teeth. I saw Robbie Devins checking out Tara today." Jax teased. Robbie Devins was a classmate of ours who was, for lack of a better term, slow. I gave Jax a punch on the shoulder,

"Don't be an asshole." Jax laughed and Opie nearly spit out his beer.

"What the hell was that?" He asked

"Is that how you punch?" Jax asked disbelievingly.

"So what if it is?" I mumbled defensively.

"Hit me again, the best you can." He put up his hands for me to punch.

"Alright, if you insist!" I wound up and punched as best as I could, which seemed to have no effect on Jax.

"Easy on 'im Lass!" A passing man called out, "He's like a _wee_ lit'le daisy!" Jax turned around to look at the man with a dangerous grin on his face.

"That right, Chibs?" Jax gleamed

"Wrong move, Brother." Opie sighed as me came to sit next to me on the picnic bench. We laughed together as Jax and Chibs started to roughhouse, each occasionally getting a good lick in. A few men working in the garage took a break to watch the fight before the curly-haired man I recognized from the other night came over.

"Alright you two, come on, break it up, break it up, back to work!" Jax and Chibs separated chuckling and hugged, apparently with no ill will and both headed back to the garage.

"It's nice here," I commented to Ope before he went back to work, he looked at me as if I was a lunatic and gave me quick chuckle.

"We like it too." He started walking but looked back, "I'm glad you're here Tara." He gave a quick little salute before heading back to the garage.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I don't own the Sons, though like many, I wish I did. **

**This is kind of a bridge chapter. I knew what was going to happen before and after this chapter but not during, so here is my best attempt to bridge that gap. It's not my favorite, but I'll probably revise it a couple of times before all is said and done.**

**Also, we're back to senior year. I feel like Jax and Tara dated for longer than this, especially since Gemma tells Margaret that they have loved each other since they were 16, but I just don't have enough story for that :(**

**So remember to review, especially for this chapter to tell me what you thinks seems (un)authentic so I can edit it make it better! I love each and every review you guys have been sending! You are all so awesome!**

…

"Hey, Babe! You want a beer?" Jax called out to me, a glimmer of exultation in his eyes that I knew was mirrored in mine. Just looking at him took my breath away. I took a minute to think about how I had gotten to this exact moment…

I've said it once and I'll say it again, never in all my life did I believe I would be falling in love with Jackson Teller, even though that's exactly what happened. I don't know how I had managed to overlook him all of the years we went to school together. But now I wasn't and being with him was nothing short of glorious.

With the exception of the on-going stalemate with David, everything in my world seemed to be looking up. My dad hadn't drunken in about two weeks, which wasn't that surprising. His drinking habits ranged from binges to dry-spells to nightcaps. The truly surprising part was how pleasant he had been. He wasn't chatty by any means but every day, as long as I was ready when he was, he would drop me off at school on his way to work.

At school I spent my time between classes with Jax and Opie. Opie and I had developed a friendship of sorts due to our mutual devotion to Jax. I was able to gather that those two had been through a lot together; they seemed to have an unspoken language between them that each was fluent in. I was worried that at first that Opie may not like me or that I feel awkward around him since those two were inseparable but I found out quickly, as I had at the club house a few weeks ago, that Opie was much cooler than that. In fact, when the three of us hung out there was no such thing as a third wheel; it seemed I transitioned from Jax's girlfriend to a girl hanging out with her two best friends.

After school I typically rode over to TM with the boys and while they worked, I did my homework. I had gotten accustomed to the various biker types that hung around and it seemed they had gotten accustomed to me being there too. I had picked up on a lot of their customs and asked Jax about the rest, some questions he didn't/couldn't answer or deflected.

This was where I found myself on a particularly sunny Friday afternoon. Jax didn't have to work on Fridays but had offered to help Opie diagnose a problem on Floyd's old truck. They had each tried to explain various mechanical terms to me which had gone in one ear and out the other.

"See? Can't you hear that?" Jax asked as he revved the engine.

"I hear a grumbley noise, old trucks make grumbley noises." I shrugged swirling on a mechanics chair pretty bored but reading the last few chapters of my book. "As long as the brakes and gas work, I don't see an issue" Opie laughed at my verdict.

"Remind Jax to go with you if you ever buy a car, otherwise you'll totally get screwed over"

"Talkin' 'bout getting screwed over, you going to Sadie's party tonight?" Jax asked Opie, adjusting something under the hood. I looked up eager to through a jab at Opie.

"She looked awfully enthusiastic when she asked you today." I hinted eyebrows raised. Everyone knew Sadie Duncan's reputation was not that of a proper lady, her older sister Emily was cut from the same cloth.

"Shut up!" Opie laughed throwing a rag at me. "Jax is rubbing off on you way too much, I liked it better when you didn't talk!" As he spoke this, 2 bikes flew into the lot.

"It's go time!" A man with crazy eyes, who I had come to know as Tig shouted. Clay came out of the office, followed by Gemma. Chibs followed Tig into the garage out of breath.

"We spotted a pair a Mayans a whiles down the road. Didn't look to keen on a friendly chit-chat." Chibs explained, expressing something else with his eyes. "Seems they may have discovered something" He rose on his toes to emphasize and if the mood hadn't changed so drastically, so suddenly I would've laughed.

"Shit." Jax muttered. I didn't know who or what the Mayans were but I could tell whatever they were, it wasn't good.

"Gem, why don't you bring Tara home, then go home yourself." Clay ordered. She looked at her husband with a face I couldn't understand.

"Yeah, ok, come on"

"My stuff…" I started to say

"Don't worry; I'll bring it by your place later." Jax sounded normal but I could tell he was masking his anxiousness. I didn't ask any more questions, I just let him lead me to his mother's car.

"Are you going to be alright?" My voice hitched a little which seemed to catch him off guard. His head snapped back and held me tight, "I'm going to be fine, babe. I'll be by later, OK?" I nodded; he kissed my head and was off.

Gemma didn't say anything but every once in a while she would take her eyes off the road to stare at me. We made it to my house in record time. The ride was the most awkward 10 minutes of my life.

"Thanks for the ride." Just as I reached out for the handle, the doors locked.

"I think it's time we had a little talk." She smiled deceivingly. I imagined my face looked similar to a doe in headlights. "What road you see yourself going down?" That wasn't what I was expecting.

"I'm sorry what?"

"You seem like a nice enough girl, a little naïve, but nice enough." She smirked and continued, "You've been dating for about…what? Two, three weeks? You don't know my son, bet you couldn't name his favorite shirt never mind shit else about him."

"Blue flannel." I answered confidently, it was my favorite too. I don't think she was expecting that. "What's your point?" I said with more backbone than I felt.

"My point, is that you are not the type of chick that's supposed to go out with my son. You are going to destroy each other by the time this is all over, snap each other in half." Her face got darker and her voice more intense as she continued, "And let me tell you something, little miss, if one, _one_, heartstring on my boy is broken, the world of pain you find yourself in will be unimaginable." The doors unlocked but I was too stunned to move right away. I blinked before stumbling over a thank you and leaving the car.

…

After that interesting confrontation with Gemma in the car I tried not focus on Jax. Still, in our relationship I thought Jax was the strong one, capable of breaking _my_ heartstrings. I wondered what kind of influence I had on him. Instead of focusing on this for too long, I went back to cleaning. My dad was still at work and wouldn't be home until around 8 pm. With my only option to sit around and wait and worry over Jax, I instead put on my dad's old records and began to clean the bathroom.

Maybe it was the noxious fumes but after a few hours I started to dance around singing to the lyrics. Standing on the rim of the tub I tried to scrub at the shower head, still bouncing around singing to The Supremes.

"If we go to Sadie's you are not allowed to sing." Jax said leaning against the doorframe to the small room, giving me a fright.

"Jax!" I started lose my balance and nearly fell except Jax manage to semi-catch me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me towards him.

"Whoa!" He settled me on my feet in front of him

"My prince!" I sighed sarcastically in his arms.

"At your service, Babe." The moment he said this I saw the burgeoning bruise growing on the corner of his jaw, just below his ear.

"Jesus! Jax, are you ok? What happened?" I pulled him into the kitchen and made him sit down while I searched through the freezer._ Why do we have no frozen foods in this house?_

"I'm fine! I promise." He acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. The closer I looked at him, I could see a spattering of blood around the collar of his dark blue hoodie.

"Well what happened?" I asked thrusting a plastic bag of left over frozen pancakes at him. He slowly took the bag and scrunched up his eyebrows. "It's all we had! You're not answering me." He wasn't getting off that easy.

"Tara! I told you I'm fine, just a scrapple with a brother." I could tell he was lying by the way he rubbed his knee with his hand, he always did that when he lied. I motioned for him to put the pancakes on his jaw which he begrudgingly did.

"You're lying." I said straight forward wanting an answer.

Ope was right, Jax was starting to wear off on me. I felt myself slowing letting go off my insecurities and timid habits and embracing a stronger side of me, that I never knew existed before.

Jax sighed and obviously did not want to talk about it. I left it alone, _Baby steps, Tara._

"Did you want to go to that party tonight?" Jax asked.

The pre-Jax Tara probably would've declined this offer, coming up with an excuse like studying or a non-existent family excursion. But now, with Jax, I had this awakening. I felt like I could do anything, be anything, including a normal teenager.

"You know what, why not, let's go." I decided.

"You should probably change." Jax chuckled. I looked down and realized I had spots of bleach covering my clothing. "You need help?" He asked with a wink.

"Smartass." I scoffed under my breath as I headed to my room to change.

…

Jax grasped my hand and began to lead me to the house, from which such loud music was coming; you could feel the vibrations through the ground. I gave his hand a quick little tug to get his attention.

"You ok?" He asked, his eyes squinted. I couldn't meet his eyes, feeling a flood of embarrassment and incompetence.

"Just…don't ditch me in there, ok? Other girls aren't my strong suit."

"Ahh, you'll be fine. Stick with me." He leaned in and gave my lip a little bite. "Come on." He nodded towards the house and I followed his lead.

The party was a scary prospect at first, but like Jax said, I had nothing to worry about. Sadie met us at the door and gave Jax an awfully tight hug which I didn't appreciate; however, as soon as she let go and turned around Jax rolled his eyes at me, which made me feel a little bit better. The second we walked in Jax spotted Opie. They did a funny little handshake and we all headed out to the back porch where it was slightly less crowded, when I spotted David Hale. Jax's eyes narrowed but I gave him a kiss on the cheek which momentarily distracted him.

"I'll be right back" I whispered to him before walking towards David.

"Tara!" Jax shouted over the booming bass and through the horde of teenagers.

"I'll be back in second." I assured him. David was watching me with unfriendly eyes as I approached him.

"Hey David."

"Hey." He grunted at me, looking past my shoulder at Jax and Opie. I turned around and put up my hand telling them I was ok and to back off a little, I wanted to talk to David without him being on the defensive. Opie pulled Jax away towards the keg and I gave him a silent "Thank you"

"So what's this about, Tara?"

"You hurt my feelings, but I know it was only because yours were hurt too." David didn't say anything but eventually moved his eyes to my face, so I continued, "I'm sorry if you felt hurt but you had no right to say those things to me." He still said nothing but gave me a nod of agreement and sorrow. I continued in a softer voice that I normally reserved for my dad when he was almost asleep.

"I think we can still be friends, or at least friendly with each other, what do you think?"

"You're still dating, Teller" He observed, his voice laced with venom. The way he said Jax's name set my spine on fire.

"Yeah, I am." I said firmly

"Well then, my opinion doesn't change. He's no good for you and if you stay with him all you'll ever know is domestic abuse and welfare." That fire that started in my spine raced up my body down my arm and into my hands. Before I knew what I was doing I punched David square across his cheek.

"I guess I was wrong about you too." I said, his shocked eyes locked with mine as Opie and Jax run up to us. David scoffed and walked away shaking his head. I pulled Jax back from going after him.

"Just let him go." He closed his eyes and seemed to be trying to get control over himself. I could tell my face looked worried when he opened his eyes, scared for his reaction. He gave a small laugh,

"I'm sorry but I can't date you." My mind blanched unable to figure out how he had jumped to that decision. I looked quickly at Opie who stood by Jax's side eyes scrunched in confusion, "I mean what the hell was that. Tara? You fucking punched Hale with your thumb inside your fist; we've been over this Tara, that's how you break your thumb." He explained with a smile.

"I don't what I am going to do with you," I laughed completely relieved. "You are such a jerk!"

"You love it!" Jax claimed pulling me tight against him, his mouth twisting around mine in ways I didn't know were humanly possible. Opie started to look away, probably looking for a quick exit. Jax pulled away just before we started to suffer from air deprivation.

""I'm thirsty." In a haze I just stared after him, watching his body move farther away from me. No more than five steps away he turned around, like he remembered something,

"Hey Babe! You want a beer?" My eyes moved from his face down to his strong neck where I knew he enjoyed my kisses, down to his broad shoulders which were always strong and steady ready to take on the world. I was ready to throw myself into his arms before I remembered he had asked me a question and more importantly before I remembered where I was. I shook my head, clearing my head.

"No, a soda's fine."

"A'ight." He winked and my heart skipped a beat.

"You got it bad…" Opie laughed. Denying that would be moronic; all I could do was shake my head in agreement.

"I know." It was true, I was a complete and total goner.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I don't own the Sons, though like many, I wish I did. This chapter was much easier for me to write compared to the last one with the exception of the end which was a little hard, but whatever. As always, I'm loving the reviews you guys have been sending, they are all precious to me! I listened to "The Lengths" by The Black Keys on repeat the whole time I wrote this chapter so check it out 1) because they are awesome and 2) because it really sets the mood and pace for the end half. I tried to write in Tara's father with as much realness as possible so tell me what you think about that part too! Thanks again for reading!**

…

"Jax…Jax, stop." I moaned out of breath. Lying in the bright sun, Jax rolled off to my side and pulled me close to him. His hands came back up to the top half of my body rubbing my side, and a part of me regretted it. Jax and I had been together for a while, about three months. I had to give it to him, for a guy with such a playboy reputation he had never made me feel pressured or seemed to mind when I asked him to slow down. I could tell he wanted to, by the way his hands for instance kept getting more adventurous, but he never made me feel guilty when we didn't go farther.

"I love you." Jax murmured into my hair. I looked up at him with wide eyes as a smile crept onto my face. It was the first time either one of us had spoken those words to each other. I never expected he would be the first to say them. I had discovered that while he was a very caring person, and would go to any length for the people he loved, it was hard for him to open up.

"I love you too…" I whispered pulling him in for another kiss. After a few more minutes we pulled apart.

"Listen…I don't want to go-" Jax started but I cut him off with a kiss.

"Then don't…" I whispered seductively

"But Clay asked me to run a few errands for the club," I gave him a dejected sigh, "You could come if you wanted to. I have to make a few stops in town."

"Do we get to stop off at Floyd's?" I asked perking up

"I don't know what your obsession is with that guy." He laughed. I loved that he laughed so much.

"I'm not obsessed. I just like to listen to his stories." Floyd was quiet with his customers but if you got to know him you knew that just meant he was a good listener. If you asked about his life he didn't mind telling you about where he'd been and what he'd seen.

"Fine, we can stop by Floyd's."

"Yes!" I stood up shaking the grass off of me and Jax and skipped over to the bike.

"Sometimes I wonder who you like more, me or Floyd." Jax grumbled as I hopped on the bike behind him.

The idea of motorcycles still freaked me out a bit, the hot pipes, the vulnerability; it was a bit unnerving for someone who hadn't grown up on the back of a bike. On the other hand, it was thrilling to be flying down the road with my hair in the wind holding onto perfect, albeit unlikely, guy of my dreams.

We passed a group of kids from school and I couldn't help but snicker at their jealous expressions. I held onto Jax tighter with my legs while bracing myself against him with one hand as he came to a stop outside the barber shop.

"I'll pick you up in a bit, babe." I nodded and handed him the helmet.

"I love you." I whispered in his ear with a little kiss before walking into Floyd's as a little thank you present, mainly for existing.

"Love you too, darlin'" I heard his signature chuckle as I entered the shop.

"Afternoon, boys!" I chirped sitting in the waiting area amongst the other customers. I sat in the same seat I had sat in since I was a little girl coming here with my father while he got a haircut and a hot shave, when Floyd used to secretly sneak me a piece of candy if I was good and patient for my dad.

"Afternoon Tara" They responded before going back to their story, which I gathered was about when a flood washed through town during the spring in the 50s. I sat for a while and enjoyed their company and laughed along with their stories.

Looking out the window I spotted Jax shaking hands with a man outside a shop front. The man said something to Jax and gave him the one minute finger heading back into the shop. Jax stepped back to the curb and sat down on his bike. A group of girls I recognized as juniors, including Sadie Duncan, walked past and stopped to talk to him. Jax said something and all of the girls laughed and laughed, reaching out to swat him. He smiled along with them and seemed to enjoy the attention. Sadie looked towards the barber shop and seemed to recognize me through the window. As the other girls said goodbye she leaned over to Jax seductively and gave him a good kiss on the mouth before sauntering off, hips swaying for a still looking Jax.

The man returned outside and after giving Jax a manly hug continued down the road. Jax strolled across the street looking content as ever and ambled into the shop.

"Hey Floyd," He said with a nod, "You ready, Babe?" looking expectantly at me.

"I-uh, yeah, yeah…" Still a little stunned I walked with him out to the bike. He looked at me funny as he handed me the helmet.

"You alright?"

"Did you…? I mean…," _Out with it, _"I-I saw you kiss her… Sadie, that is."

"Tara…" Jax groaned.

"No, I mean that was a _serious_ kiss."

"Calm down Tara, she kissed me."

"You looked really torn up about it." I agreed sarcastically. "Just bring me home." Jax sighed but turned on the motorcycle nonetheless.

The ride out of town was the polar opposite of the ride in. As soon as Jax pulled into my driveway I jumped off the bike.

"I'll see you later?" He asked. I said nothing, looking at him with a blank stare. He shook his head, "Yeah."

I went inside the house on auto-pilot, unable to control my body. I curled up on my bed praying I hadn't ruined everything, gotten him mad to the point where he didn't want me anymore. _Of all days to say I love you._

But we had said I love you, in fact he said it first. That had to mean something, if not everything. He was right, she had kissed him, it wasn't like he had gone in for the kill. I was over reacting and I knew it but I was insecure. There were other girls that were much prettier and easier than me. He could stray so easily.

Heartbroken over a situation I had only made worse I cried for a long time. I didn't even notice as the sun set and my room darkened. A knock at the door woke me up from the half-asleep daze I was in. The old man was always forgetting his house key. I sat up and rubbed at my eyes which were probably rimmed in red.

"Forgot your ke-" it wasn't my father.

"Go away Jax." I shut the door and walked back to my room. The front door opened.

"Not that simple." Jax claimed leaning on my door frame watching me as I sat on my bed. It wasn't lost on me that this was the first time Jax was in my room.

"What isn't?"

"Everything: you can't just walk away from this."

"Maybe it's better if I do." _No it isn't, shut up you moron!_

"Why do you keep fighting this?" He looked at me exasperated, "Why do you keep running? Yeah, it's a different life than most but we can make it work. I love you." He came over and looked me in the eyes. My sight was cloudy through the tears.

"What about everything else? The girls, and the club, God, your mother?" Jax sat down next to me.

"Bullshit, it's all just bullshit." He grasped my head between his hands, "I love you, so get it through your smart, gorgeous head: you can trust me. I'm not going anywhere." Staring into his blue I eyes I knew he was telling the truth.

"I know you won't," I smiled finally accepting what he was saying as the truth, "And I love you more." I smiled pulling his face those last few inches to mine. Jax leaned over me laying me down on the bed.

"I guess we've made up?" He laughed.

"I guess so." I said in between kisses.

"Maybe we should do some making out…"

"Sounds good to me." I laughed helping him take off his cut and rolling him over. Jax pushed up my shirt and sitting up laid light kisses along my rib cage tickling me with the scruff of his short beard. I pulled his strong jaw up to meet mine while his hands were roaming up over my chest. In the middle of this heavy petting session I heard a noise coming from the living room.

"Tara!" A gruff voice called out from the living room down the hall.

"Shit, shit! It's my dad!" I whispered to Jax as I jumped off the bed and swiftly righted myself. "Stay here!" I advised Jax with a quick kiss to the temple.

"Hey Dad." I chirped rounding the corner of the hallway but stopped short in my tracks. It seemed my dad had fallen off the wagon at three months in. He swayed in place standing me down in the middle of the living room.

Fight or flight? Should I walk back to my room, or would that set him off if he thought I was ignoring him? Or should I stay and risk pissing him off with something I say? I tried to remember what my mother would do in situations like these.

"Hey Dad." I said again softly approaching him cautiously as if he was a wild animal. "How was your day?"

"How do you think it was?" He slurred. _Not great?_

"Do you want to talk about it? I can make some tea-"

"Don't do that!" He snapped menacingly

"Do what?" I asked cautiously

"Don't do what she did! Don't!" He was obviously unraveling.

"Ok, I won't" I said softly stepping closer. "It's alright." Rage flickered in his eyes. Knowing what was about to transpire I tried to move backwards but was too late. He reached out and grabbed my hair pulling me backwards. Whenever he got drunk he always got sloppy and careless, thrashing his arms and falling down and sometimes this left me with a bruise; but this was the first time he had purposely hurt me for the sole objective of injuring me.

"I told you not to act like her!" He yelled. Letting go of my hair he slapped me across the face with the back of his hand; his wedding band symbolizing long inactive vows connected with my cheek bone causing me to fall to the ground. He knelt down next to me grasping my upper arms in his calloused hands; it felt as if he was going to cut off my circulation.

"Why do you have to be so much like her?" His voice continued to rise as he shook my shoulders. It was clear he was completely gone at this point and there would be no reasoning with him. The best I could hope for would be to get out of his grasp somehow with minimal damage to the both of us. I heard my door being torn open and saw Jax enter the living room.

"Jesus Christ!" Jax rushed over and my father off of me as he continued to yell about my mother. As Jax pulled him back he threw an elbow which caught Jax in the chest taking away his air. Jax knocked him in the jaw.

"Son of a bitch!" My father cried out now focusing his angry energy on Jax.

"Stop! Dad, please!" Like a yo-yo my Dad once again faced me from the ground and tried to reach out for me. This time Jax didn't hold back as he had the last time, months ago. His sneakered foot stepped down on my father's wrist pinning it to the ground, allowing me to pull my ankle away without losing my balance. I went to stand behind Jax and looked on at my broken father as he was reduced to an alcohol influenced mess of frustration, pain and tears, crumpled on the ground.

In a controlled voice Jax began, "If you ever touch her again, I promise you, it will be the last thing you do." Still pinning his wrist down, Jax reached down to pull the flask that was sticking out of my father's back pocket. "Go ahead, take your medicine." And tossed it on the ground in front of his face. He turned around to me,

"Come on, let's get out of here." He gestured in much softer voice, holding my hand. I silently complied, giving a spare look to my father who was still crouched on the floor cradling his face.

"Bye, Dad." I whispered.

Outside the house Jax took my face in his hands tilting my head so he could inspect my cheek. He ran his thumb over where it was sensitive causing me to give a little hiss.

"I'll check that out when we get to my house." My eyes flashed a little at the vision of having to see Gemma after all that had just happened. As if he could read my mind he continued, "I'll make sure she's on her best behavior." I let out a small laugh and climbed on the bike after him. After I nestled into my favorite spot between his shoulder blades I closed my eyes taking in the smell of his leather cut and put my faith in him, trusting him to lead me home.

Gemma was sitting in the living room and appeared surprised to see me walking in with Jax so late at night.

"What's going on?"

"Tara is staying here tonight." Jax asserted in a tone that left no room for discussion. Gemma's head cocked halfway, her lips pursed in thought.

"Alright." She uttered, not moving her head though she narrowed her eyes, as if she did not want to allow it but also knew she had no fight. Jax led me up the stairs and down the hall to his room. He handed me a pair of sweat pants to change into and left the room to give me some privacy. I laughed at this considering how things were going before my dad showed up.

A minute or so he returned with a plastic baggie filled with ice, a glass of water and some aspirin. I smiled at his thoughtfulness.

"That might work better than frozen pancakes." He winked.

He pulled the cover back and climbed in the bed, motioning wordlessly for me to join him. I crawled into the warm bed and laid across his chest entwining my legs with his. His arms wrapped around me gently but it wasn't enough.

"Hold me tighter" The muscles of his arms flexed but I didn't feel anymore constricted. I wanted him to hold me so tight that the memories of our fight, the girls that caused it, my father and both of our mothers left me.

"Tighter" His arms contracted firmly against me. The events of earlier that day went through my head like instant replay stuck on repeat.

"Tighter" I was worried for me and Jax and our relationship, but mostly for my father. If kept it up he would die before he reached 55 and I would be left parentless. As much as I hated him when he drank, I still loved him.

"Tighter" My voice broke but Jax complied once again using his impressive strength to hold me against his warm body with a force that might normally be considered uncomfortable. My sobs began to take control of me and soon I was at their mercy. Jax unwrapped one arm from me and used it to stroke my hair whispering comfort to me.

"Shh, It's alright, I'm here" He repeated stilling my tears after a few minutes. I sat up on my elbow and look him in the eyes.

"I love you, you know." I professed seriously.

"I know." He whispered in that gravelly voice that appeared when he was tired. "I love you too." He leaned up and kissed my nose playfully. I returned the favor and kissed him square on the mouth with as my emotion as I could muster, trying to convey to him how I felt about him. I pulled back, slightly out of breath and stared him down.

Suddenly Jax reached out and pulled me to him rolling me under himself. I helped him out of his shirt before he slowly grasped at the hem of mine, which technically was also his.

"I've never…" I hinted quietly

"I know…"

"And I'm nervous"

"That's ok" He assured me with understanding eyes

"But I trust you" That made him smile,

"I'm glad" And as his lips moved from my mouth to my jaw to my neck I surrendered myself to his kisses and let the night lead us where it pleased.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I don't own the Sons, though like many, I wish I did. Sorry that this chapter took so long for me to write, it just took a little bit! ****There is a poll on my profile that I want you all to check out, regarding the story!**** In the papers that Kohn gets in Chicago, it listed Tara's 3****rd**** arrest as possession of stolen property. To me, that doesn't really sound like Tara. So what I'm doing is having you all vote on whether you want her to be arrested for that, or some other crime. The poll will close when I begin writing that chapter, which won't be for a while. I will post an author's note the day before, alerting you all to the final day to vote. Once the chapter is done, I will replace the author's note with the chapter since I hate when authors leave those notes in the middle of a story! So don't forget: Review and Vote! **

**(p.s. Chapter 7 got the most amount of reviews ever [11]! So thank you sooo much! And to everyone who Alerts or Favorites: why so awesome? Just showing everyone else up? :p )**

**(p.p.s. This will be the last chapter with Hale as the **_**main**_** antagonist so tell me what you think in your reviews!)**

…

I woke up with Jax's body languorously stretched out over mine, his long hair tickling my neck as his head laid at ease on my chest. He was heavy but that was alright, it was a weight I didn't mind bearing. I pulled my arm out from under the covers and drew designs on his shoulder remembering how perfect last night had ended. Of course, that reminded me of how it had started which put a damper on my euphoria. In the midst of this daydream, Jax began to move around, distracting me, and with a groan opened his eyes and leaned up on his elbows to face me.

"Morning." I smiled at his disheveled look.

"Morning." He mumbled sleepily.

"Tired?" I asked brushing his long hair out of his eyes.

"More like overworked." He replied with a wink. Immediately I felt the blush creep up my face and neck "I like it when you blush" He whispered kissing up my neck. Before I had a chance to say anything the bedroom door was thrown open.

"Hey! Kids!" Gemma shouted not knowing we were awake. Jax rolled off of me, not hurriedly like he was embarrassed to be caught on top of me; just as if this sort of thing happened every morning and he was simply turning to face his mother. "Oh, good, you're up." Her eyes looked dead and there was no hint of emotion on her face as she looked over the two of us, bringing on another wave of blushing. "Time to eat. It's Monday, you got school" With that she slammed the door.

"Oh my god!" I groaned as I sunk into the sheets and pulled the covers over my face.

"What?" Jax asked leaning against the backboard completely at ease. I flipped the sheets back.

"What?" I repeated, mystified, "Your _mother_ just walked in on us, naked, with you on sucking my neck!" I exclaimed eyes open wide, not understanding how he wasn't mortified.

"You're cute." He chuckled kissing the tip of my nose before getting out of bed and throwing on some clothes. Shaking my head I followed suit and threw on the clothes I had worn last night. I stood up and began to right myself and gave a gasp after catching myself in the mirror. My cheek was a nice mixture of red and purple.

"Awesome." I deadpanned gingerly pressing my fingertips against the skin assessing the damage. I saw Jax looking at me with anger in his eyes in the mirror, though I knew it wasn't a look directed at me personally. I gave him a reassuring smile and he returned one to me that seemed unauthentic.

"You're hot when you're angry." I said through the mirror trying to distract him. He sauntered over to me and put his hands on my hips.

"We should get downstairs before my mother decides to throttle us." I would've laughed if that wasn't a legitimate claim.

We entered the dining area and Jax pulled a seat out for me next to his. Gemma placed a giant platter of waffles on the table. She looked up and caught a glance at my face. She leaned against a chair pursing her lips.

"Your Dad do that to you?" She asked quietly and knowingly. I looked up and met her gaze.

"Yeah." She gave a quick nod and began serving us.

"Morning everyone." Clay said joining us and taking his seat at the head of the table. I felt self conscious as he looked my face over, seeing the mark on my right cheek. I gave a quick and nervous smile and un-tucked my hair letting fall over my cheek.

"Your old man?" He asked in his distinctive low timbre. Jax's right hand began to rub my knee as he continued eating.

"Yeah, it was an accident." I smiled laughing it off. Jax's hand squeezed my knee under the table. I looked at him silently begging him not to say anything more.

"We can't turn a blind eye for much longer, Tara." Clay said. I wasn't privy to much regarding the club, but I grew up in this town, and I had been spending time around TM, I was able to get the gist of his warning. I hated that my father drank, hated how sloppy, and lately angry and aggressive he became when he drank, but he was still my father. He was the only blood I had left and I didn't want to be responsible for the spilling of that blood, in any manner or degree.

"Really Mr. Morrow, he honestly didn't mean it and I'm fine!" I started to ramble getting nervous, "I promise, everything's fine." Clay continued to look at me thinking, but eventually relented and started in on his meal.

"So…" Gemma began just as I thought I was free and clear. I had managed to mostly avoid her since our little chat in her car a few months ago, but she was a hard lady to avoid, especially in such as small town. "How've you two been?" Jax choked a little on the milk he had been drinking.

"Sorry?" He asked laughing at his mother.

"Well I can never pull you two away from each other long enough to know what's goin' on with you two." She asked with an innocent look on her face.

"We're fine." He smirked. "'Sides, isn't that an indication of how things are going."

"Don't be a smartass." I chided him quietly, then flushed with embarrassment for swearing in front of his parents. Then on second thought realized, Clay and Gemma weren't those kinds of parents.

"No, but this morning was." _Oh, my, god! Oh my god!_ I froze my eyes wide looking down at my plate not daring to look up to gage others' reactions. This was hands down the most embarrassing moment of my life. I tore my eyes away for a second to look at Jax who, for once, looked a little peaked too.

"Ok, time to go!" Jax announce quickly standing up

"What, something I said?" Gemma asked sarcastically as she took a sip from her coffee. Clay rolled his eyes and rubbed his temple though a hit of a smile played on the corner of his mouth. Jax ushered me through the kitchen and out the back to his bike in the driveway.

"I'm sorry, Tara." He said with apologetic eyes as he handed me the helmet.

"She just doesn't let up, huh?" I noted hopping on back of the bike.

"Nope" Jax sighed shaking his head. The back door opened and Clay emerged shaking his head.

"You kids better take off, She's on the warpath." He advised mounting his own bike.

"You gonna need me today?" Jax asked. I saw Clay look at me before giving his answer.

"I think it's gonna be a quiet day, plus Lowell got a head start on the Toyota in the bay on Friday, so I think we'll be fine. But stay around town and don't forget the thank you party we're gonna have throw for the Tacoma boys tonight." Clay said with his eyebrows raised saying something he had not spoken. His voice did not seem to match the happy nature of a party but rather sounded like a warning.

"Got it." Both started their bikes and left the houses, parting in different directions. Jax and I made a pit stop at my house so I could change my clothes before we headed to school. A few minutes later we were pulling into the Charming High School parking lot, parking right next to Ope who was still sitting on his bike, waiting for us.

He got a look at my cheek and his eyes narrowed and his chin pointed up. It was counter-intuitive but he always did it when he was suspicious.

"You ok?" He asked looking down at me. When I smiled he nodded in reply and moved on to talking to Jax about some bike thing. I liked that about Opie, he never stuck his nose into other people's business. He was reserved and perceptive, which I greatly admired, plus he had a heart of gold. I laughed to myself as I thought about his brutish reputation in town and in school. That was the farthest thing that he was, than a lot of the guys in the club were for that matter. They didn't need to do anything to get the label, it was automatically assigned to them when they donned their cut. I wondered how many friendships and relationships were never made and lost to the world due to the fact that somebody was wearing a leather cut. To be fair though, I had to develop the beginnings of a steel stomach after hanging around TM. The things the guys said and did were too much for me to bear sometimes, which made them laugh all the more.

Today was the first time I was happy about having a rotating schedule. All of our classes were numbered. If Monday started with period 1, then Tuesday started with period 2 and period 1 would be last that day. It turned out that this Monday chemistry was the period after lunch, meaning I could theoretically avoid David for most of the day. Nothing had changed between us in the last three months, not that I had expected it to. I was still mad at him and had lost a lot of respect for him, but still, I missed him. I never would have considered him a "best friend" but up until I became close with Jax, he was about the closest human connection I had, and I missed that.

Jax, Ope and I walked into the upperclassmen cafeteria and headed to our normal table. David passed us and his eyes zeroed in on my cheek. He calmly placed his tray on the nearest table, spun and faced Jax.

"David, no!" Seemingly without enough time to even aim, David threw his arm out and sucker punched Jax in the face.

"Motherfucker!" Jax yelled as he and Ope descended on David. A few of David's friends from his baseball team joined the fight. A junior named Cynthia had unfortunately been caught in the middle of the brawl and was crouched on the ground with ketchup smeared over the front of her top. I quickly ran towards her and pulled her away from the moronic and hotheaded boys.

Soon after the fight erupted the senior and junior vice principals broke up the fight and hauled the boys to the principal's office. I followed them and waited in the chairs outside the office fuming. I knew that if anyone was at fault for the fight it was David, but Jax and Opie would ultimately get blamed for it anyways. The bell signaling the end of lunch rang but I didn't care if I was late for class, I was going to wait there until they all came out. My anger transformed to nervousness the longer I waited especially since everyone once in a while voices would shout, though I couldn't tell who was doing the shouting. Nearly 20 minutes after the bell rang Jax and Opie were released.

"Hey, what's going on?" I jumped out of my seat and asked the boys nervously.

"Ahh, it's fine, we just get to go home early." Jax said with ease rubbing my shoulder.

"Seriously, that's it?" I asked disbelievingly.

"That's it." He smiled. I looked at Opie for reaffirmation, he nodded his head. "You want to come with us? Nobody's gonna care if you skip."

I had to contemplate. I knew if I skipped I would have a great time hanging out with Jax and Opie, but I wasn't one to skip. I was stronger than peer pressure and I didn't want to become one of those girls who changes everything about themselves and what they stand for just because they get a boyfriend.

"I think I'm going to go to math, but I'll see you later." I smiled giving him a kiss before he began walk away.

"You think you can give me extra help later, teach?" Jax suddenly asked coming back after me with a devilish smile that made me sway.

"Depends on what you need to learn." I feigned innocence.

"Anything you got to show me."I smiled. The door to the principal's office opened and David and his friends stepped out. Jax shot a death glare to him but then ignored him turning his attention back to me.

"Call me later." He whispered before giving me a passionate kiss that I assumed was more for David that for me, and yet I still reaped the benefits. After he began to saunter away I turned on David.

"Come here." I growled David and pulled him into a small hallway near the janitor's closet. "You are a _complete_ and utter pigheaded moron! You want to be a cop?" I asked loudly, "Well then you better-" I quieted as a teacher strolled past, looking at us curiously. As soon as he rounded the corner I resumed my tirade though quieter this time, "Well then you better rein your giant ego in. You aren't God, you don't get to decide who is guilty before you hear the facts, or the goddamn case for that matter! Jax has not, does not and will not lay a hand on me, _ever!_ Now you just started a brawl that he no doubt will get blamed for. People are going to think the _best_ thing that has ever happened to me, hurts me. And I'm tired of apologizing to you for no reason. I'm dating someone you obviously don't like, too bad! I love him and there's nothing you can do to stop it. So this is my last offer, you can either be my friend, regardless of who I am dating, or you can butt out of my life, permanently. It's your choice; either way though, leave Jax alone and grow the fuck up!" My chest heaved as I struggled to regulate my breathing. David stared at me definitely pissed but also completely shocked at my sudden bout of boldness. I raised my eyebrows waiting for an answer.

"Fine." He nodded. I lowered my head egging him on. "Fine, friends." I smiled.

"Good, but you still owe me an apology for the last 3 months." With that I said a silent "good riddance" and headed towards my math class.

…

A thrum of excitement rang through my body as I heard Jax's motorcycle approach. My day had been horrendously boring as I waited for it to be over so I could be with Jax.

"Hey, Darlin'" He smiled slyly holding out the helmet he always made me wear. Well, actually the state of California made me wear, but you know, semantics.

Seeing him on his bike stopped me in my tracks. Just seeing his broad shoulders and strong chest made me sigh as I thought about how they looked under his warm sweatshirt and cut. Need cut through me like a blade. I quickly walked up to the bike, ignoring the helmet and curving my body and lips around his that was really embarrassing to do in public, but completely worth it. Jax's warm hands grasped the sides of my head and pulled me even closer to him.

"You want me to take you home?" He asked out of breath in between kisses.

"No." I whispered tasting him some more.

"I don't think you want to stay at my house with Gemma either." He chuckled.

"Nope." I was a bit annoyed that this was the moment he decided to be responsible and plan ahead.

"You should stay in the apartment at the clubhouse." Jax suggested as he gnawed on my bottom lip. I scoffed at his suggestion and pulled back to give him a look that said "seriously?".

"Sleep in the back room of a club house inhabited by drunken old men? Thank you, but I'll pass."

"What if I stayed with you; make sure there's no monster under your bed…?" He asked suggestively while acquainting his lips with the freckles on my shoulder.

"Alright." I accepted, liking the sound of that and questioning the many possibilities. A group of teachers walked to their cars and briefly stopped to watch us with disapproving gazes. "We should go."

When we pulled into the SOA lot motorcycles were crawling over every inch of the place. I took notice of the men I didn't recognize who were wearing cuts. Their bottom patch read Tacoma. Jax reached out a hand, ushering me off the bike then wrapped his arm around me side guiding me into the clubhouse.

"Why is Tacoma down?" I asked Jax confused. He seemed distracted as his eyes searched the room.

"Just checking in." He grinned looking down at me. I doubted this was the real reason but he obviously didn't want to share so I let it go. "Come'ere." He pulled me by the hand and led me to a room that thankfully had not been the same one the biker and company had been using the first time I came to the clubhouse.

As he closed the doors, there was a tugging feeling between our chests, like we couldn't get close enough quick enough. With a glimmer in his eye Jax's strong hands gripped around my waist and half-tossed me onto the bed before he leaned over me and growled in my ear…

"I'm ready for my lesson…"

…

I groaned at the loud noise reverberating throughout the room. I was lying on my stomach with Jax's heavy arm the only thing covering my bare back. I pulled the sheets up over my shoulders and turned in his arms pressing my cold face against his warm chest and tried to go back to sleep but the coldness and the noise prevented me from doing so. Jax seemed to slowly wake and as he did so constricted his arms around me.

"Jesus Christ you're cold." He groaned still sleepy. I jolted in his arms as the door shuddered with a huge bang. Jax sat up presumably to block the intruder's view of me, but nobody opened the door or called for us.

"What time is it?" I asked snuggling down into where his body heat had made the bed nice and toasty.

"About 7:30" He yawned finally waking up. "My mom will probably be here soon to drop of some liquor and set up for the party." He flopped back down into the bed landing on my hair.

"Ow!" I said tugging on it pulling it from underneath his shoulder.

"Sorry!" He laughed pulling me into his warmth again.

"Hey I talked to David today, after you left." I said nonchalantly hoping his post nap self would be less hot-headed than normal Jax. Hi body seemed to almost stiffen but his face showed no sign of emotion. "Yeah, he more or less apologized and said he would lay off us." Jax didn't seem to have anything to say about that so I let it go. I had been doing a lot of that with Jax recently.

"We should get dressed before Tig or Bobby comes and breaks down the door looking for an empty bed, the party's gonna start soon." I looked at Jax, a little horrified that the bed I would be sleeping in tonight might also be used as one of "those" types of rooms. "Don't worry, I'll lock the door when we leave." He grinned, standing up and gathering his clothes. I honestly could lay in this bed forever just watching him move. "Come on, Darlin', let's go!" He laughed as he jumped onto the bed and pulled back the covers exposing me and began tickling my sides.

"Stop! Stop! I can't take it!" I wheezed from laughing too hard.

"That's not what you said last night!"

…

When we finally emerged from the room, after safely locking and double checking the door, the party was in full swing. I didn't know why there was a party, who it was for or what they had done or not done but everyone was happy for it.

"Hey!" Opie called out as he approached Jax and I at the club bar his arm slung over a tipsy blonde. He went behind the bar and poured everyone a shot before looking up at me with a glint in his eye, "You gonna drink tonight, Mother Teresa?" He said with a snicker which Jax copied.

"What? You guys don't think I could hold my alcohol?" I asked almost feeling insulted,

"I didn't say it!" Jax laughed leaning back in his stool.

"Fine! Pour me a shot Ope!" He looked at Jax for confirmation. "Excuse me, but I'm pretty sure I can choose if I want to drink or not by myself." Ope poured me a shot and slid it across the counter to me. Gathering courage I tilted my head back and downed it. "Oh God, that is disgusting!" I choked, "How do you _do_ that?" I asked though a series of coughs.

"Here," Jax laughed as he handed me a beer. "That might be more your speed." And it was. I had two large beers and I definitely felt it. I wasn't drunk but I was pretty tipsy, it was obvious I was a lightweight. Jax and Opie treated me like a toddler, trying to think of new ways to make me giggle which we discovered was very easy while I was intoxicated. Suddenly, the gravity of the current situation plummeted through me and I drew Jax closer.

"Jax!" I said with all seriousness, "I don't have clothes for tomorrow!" I saw Opie trying to hold back a smile so I shot him daggers with my eyes.

"Babe, you'll be fine, we'll swing by your house tomorrow before school." By now, his eyelids looked heavy as he began to feel all that he had drunk as well, which was much more than me.

"Nope! I am going to go right now." I slid off the barstool and after regaining my balance headed for the door.

"I'll drive you over." Jax offered and even I knew this was a bad idea.

"You are too drunk to drive," I said poking him in the chest, " and _I_ am too drunk to hold on." I pondered our predicament for a second before snapping my fingers. "We will walk!" The plan was fool proof! We each grabbed a bottle for the road, so to speak, and began our journey.

The walk under the Californian sky was very peaceful and I began to think about what was up there.

"Do you believe in heaven?" I asked Jax looking up at the stars.

"What?"

"You know, heaven, the place you go after you die?"

"I'm not sure." Jax answered quietly. I wondered if there was such a place and if there was if my mom was there.

"I miss my mom a lot. Do you miss your dad?" Jax kept looking down at the ground.

"Mm-hmm." He mumbled taking another sip from his beer.

"You'll get to heaven some day." Jax only scoffed

"You think so?" He looked amused as he answered me sarcastically. I stopped walking and looked him dead in the eyes

"I know it. I know because you're kind, and caring," I began ticking off my fingers with surprising accuracy, "you're generous, and smart and…" The fog around my brain grew thicker, " a really good kisser!" I finished proud of myself. Jax put his arm around my waist and kissed the top of my head then continued to lead me home.

"I'm glad someone thinks so."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I don't own the Sons, though like many, I wish I did. Not a lot of big drama in this chapter but Tara is starting to do some soul searching, which might come off at first as scatterbrained. I really want to see what you guys think about this chapter! Also, don't forget to check out the poll on my profile page, regarding Tara's 3****rd**** arrest. So far only 9 people have voted, which isn't an accurate sampling, based on how many hits and visitors the story gets, so go vote! Now, on with the update :)…**

…

_Ow!_ That's all I could think of when I came into consciousness. My head was throbbing and the blankets were scratchy. Jax smelled particularly boy-ish that morning, so I rolled over which is when my head hit something hard and cold sending excruciating pain through my skull and plummeting into my stomach. Confused and disoriented I rubbed my head and opened my eyes to find myself up-close and personal with a yellow cinderblock wall.

"What…?" I sat up and looked around. Jax and I were squeezed into a small cot in the corner of a medium sized cell in what I assumed to be Charming Police Department. "Holy crap! Holy crap!" I shook Jax. "Wake up! Wake up!"

"What? What's wrong?" He asked worried.

"We're in prison! That's what's wrong!" I said in disbelief gesturing to the room around us. I looked down to discover I was still in my jeans from last night though I was swimming in Jax's oversized sweatshirt and my shoes were gone.

"You don't remember?" He questioned warily.

"Remember what?" I asked frustrated. Jax leaned up on his elbows and seemed very hesitant to explain to me what was going on. "Jax, why are we in prison?"

"Technically, we're in jail." I closed my eyes, took a breath and praying for the strength not to hit him. "Last night, we got a little drunk…"

"Yes I remember that part." I snapped gesturing for him to get to the part where we landed ourselves in prison, I'm sorry, jail. Jax figured this explanation warranted sitting all the way up as he moved to meet me at eye level.

"On the way to your house the sheriffs spotted us and we got arrested." He said through a wince expecting me to lash out at him, which might have happened if I was able to breathe correctly. As it was, I was having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that I was in jail. Jail! Me, Tara Knowles, in jail! My mind raced through all of the complications and consequences this would bring.

"We're going to have to go to court! Oh God, what is your mom going to say? What is my dad going to say?"

"Tara, everything is going-"Jax tried to pull me into his arms but I retreated, nothing was going to make this better.

"Don't say 'ok'." Jax resorted to rubbing my back in calming circles as I tried to work through all of this in my mind as well as calm my spastic diaphragm which was making me take large spastic breaths.

"Jesus Christ! What's the matter with her?" Chief Unser called out to us as he unlocked the cell and handed me a glass of water, "Here sweetheart." Graciously I took the glass and tried to take a sip but I was having difficulty swallowing.

"How much trouble are we in?" I asked Unser directly. We, or at least I, was a first time offender. I could probably get off with some community service, a small pock mark on my record._ Not a big deal_, I tried to convince myself.

"You didn't tell her?" Unser asked confused.

"I tried." Jax answered standing up and stretching. Unser turned back to me.

"You're not in trouble at all, sweetheart. Sheriffs called us in since you were down the street from the station; not the brightest idea I might add. Deal was you guys come to the station for the night no complaints; we let you out in time for school in the morning. You were asleep before Jax even put you in the squad car, hell, we didn't even cuff you." He scoffed taking a sip of his coffee, the smell of which made me nauseous.

"So there's no jail time or anything like that?" I asked cautiously.

"Nope." I let out a relieved sigh. "Just… try not to let it happen again, please?" He continued in a tone that was almost pleading.

"No promises."Jax answered smugly, I gave him a warning look.

"Of course." I corrected.

"Alright, well, Gemma is coming to pick you kids up, why don't you wait out front."

"Really?" Jax shook his head at Unser, putting on his sneakers and handed me the boots I didn't remember taking off.

"What do you want from me? The both of yas are minors, I gotta tell _somebody_." Unser exclaimed exasperated.

"It's fine!" I said pulling Jax to the hall, "Thank you so much for everything!" I said sincerely.

"Your welcome!" Unser said with a bow and nod of his head, happy to finally be acknowledged for his kindness.

The large windows in the foyer of the station let the sun light flood into the mostly dark building. I let out a grunt of pain as the brightness of the late morning sun exasperated the mounting headache growing around my eyes.

"Head hurt?" Jax asked concerned. I nodded in reply. Jax pulled out the baseball cap he had stuffed in his back pocket and placed it forward facing on my head so that the visor blocked the sun from my eyes. He then led me outside to the short wall by the front door of the station where we sat waiting for his mother. I held his hand in mine, grasping his bicep with the other hugging his arm to me and leaned my head against his shoulder. It was a cold late November, especially for California.

"We got to break you in if you're gonna be able to compete with me and Ope, darlin'." Jax ribbed gently.

"I am never drinking again." I groaned, "How far gone was I?" I asked Jax, not really wanting to know.

"You're funny when you're drunk." Jax laughed easily.

"I didn't say anything embarrassing did I?"

"Nah, nothing embarrassing." Jax said unconvincingly. I believed him when he said I didn't do or say anything embarrassing, but from the way he looked at me I could tell I had said something that had stuck with him till the morning. I wracked through my brain trying to figure out what I had said to him, when it suddenly dawned on me.

"Oh my God, I explained why you're going to heaven, didn't I?" Jax scrunched his face. "And my reasoning was because you're a good kisser and various synonyms for 'nice'."

"Yeah." Just then Gemma's Cadillac pulled up. She didn't get out, she just honked the horn. Jax slid into the back seat and made me sit in the front with his mother. She didn't say single word to us the whole ride, which I think is scarier than any rant she could have ripped into. Once we pulled up to the garage, all she said was, "Dinner at 7" before heading into the office. I had half expected her to lock us in the car.

"She is pissed." Tig whistled after Gemma slammed the door. Chibs did a looky-loo around and joined Tig.

"Some little lad is going to be in the doghouse tonight."

Jax flipped them the bird and ignored them. "I don't have to be here for a couple of hours, how about we go pick up some stuff for you at your place before your dad gets home then we can grab a bite to eat at Lumpy's?"

"Sounds good." When we got to the house the mailman was just leaving. It was mostly just bills and grocery store flyers, except for one large envelope addressed to me from UCSD which I put to the bottom of the pile. After checking to make sure my Dad wasn't home Jax followed me into my room and looked around as I packed for a few days. He had been in my room before but we mostly spent time at neutral grounds, i.e. the clubhouse and his house when Gemma wasn't around. She tended to put a damper on the happiness Jax and I shared.

Jax moved over to my dresser as I rummaged through the small closet I had and found some clothes to change into. His thumb grazed over a picture frame of me and my mother from a few years before she died. We were sitting in the backyard on a blanket, our identical dark brown hair in two braided pigtails as we rubbed our noses together giggling. My mother's sister had taken the picture when she came down from Oregon to visit. I hadn't seen her since. I played with the thin gold band that hung around my neck. I had worn my mother's wedding ring since she died, rarely taking it off.

"Is this your mother?" Jax questioned solemnly.

"Yeah." I nodded with a smirk.

"How did she die?" Jax asked me quietly. I took a deep breath.

"I don't really know." I frowned shrugging, "My dad never really explained it, he just said she was gone. I remember going to visit her in the hospital, she was sick for a few weeks before she died." Jax just peered at me with understanding eyes. "What about your dad?" I ventured cautiously. Aside from the very first day we skipped school together he had never talked about his dad and I never brought it up, until last night that is.

"Motorcycle accident," He answered briskly. "Don't think about it much." He shrugged as if it were no big deal. I knew he thought about his dad more than he let on.

"Clay seems alright though." I offered.

"Yeah, he can be a jackass sometimes but he's cool enough. He was my dad's best friend," His eyes crinkled, "I'll have to warn Opie not to follow Clay's example on everything."

"But nothing is going to happen to you, right?" I asked using this opportunity to bring up something that had been worrying me since that day with the two Mayans.

"Nope, you're stuck with me, life sentence." His arm swung around the back of my neck pulling my face closer by the bend of his elbow. I had never understood when people said "his/her eyes looked endless"; I had never seen that phenomenon. But as Jax's bright blues eyes pierced mine they seemed endless as if I could see right into his very soul. Love and potential swirled his pupils around like a hurricane. I licked my lips anxious to feel the pressure of his own against mine. Though I wanted to keep looking into his eye, his presence was intoxicating. My eyelids felt heavy and giving in I closed them. The hot and heavy weight of his arms on my shoulders was lifted and I waited for his large and rough hands to grasp my face. When they didn't I opened my eyes completely confused.

"I'm hungry." Jax said with a devilish grin walking away.

"Excuse me?" I stood planted in the same place stunned.

"Payback." He said smugly, "You didn't think I'd forget, did you?"

…

Lumpy's was nearly empty, one of the perks of going out to eat in the middle of a school/work day. Jax and I had given up on school by this point and had called Opie to spend the day with us. He had shuffled into Lumpy's just after we had sat down in our usual booth. He too was feeling the effects from last night's party.

"Seems like you had fun after we left last night." Jax teased as Ope groaned settling into the plastic bench.

"Tsk-yeah, not much as you guys I hear. Jax is a bad influence on you, Tara. Skipping school, drinking, getting arrested…" Ope chided with a smile.

"Showing cleavage" Jax added, which earned him a swift kick under the table and a stern gaze, "I'm kidding!" He grinned putting up his hands in surrender though his eyes did graze over my chest once more before heading back up to my eyes.

"Stop it!" I said giving him a light shove, even though I kind of enjoyed it. After being the girl in back of the class for so long, it was nice to have someone appreciate me, _all_ of me even. Deena came over with our usual food without us even ordering, interrupting my thoughts.

"One cheeseburger with a vanilla shake," She said placing Jax's food down in front of him, "One Chicken Caesar Salad with extra Caesar and a diet coke," she said placing my meal down, "last but not least turkey club without pickles and iced tea." She finished taking a breath. "Alright kids, need anything else?"

"Only you, Deena." Jax chimed at the 60-something-year-old.

"Watch it kid!" Her husband Tony called from the kitchen pointing a spatula at Jax. "Otherwise I'm coming after your girl!" He winked. Deena just shook her head at the men.

"I'll be back in a little bit to check on you." Opie watched across from us as Jax and I descended on our meals. I realized why we were both so hungry: we hadn't eaten since breakfast yesterday at Gemma's and even then we made a quick exit.

"Christ, it's like watching hyenas attack a wildebeest or some shit."

"I am being healthy, I have a salad!" I protested. Plus, to be honest my stomach was still doing somersaults as a result of last night's activities. I looked over to Jax, who had inhaled half of his burger by then. He had ketchup along the right side of his cheek. Opie covertly made a motion for me not to say anything.

"Lowell ever figure out what was wrong with the Toyota from the other day?" Jax asked Opie who replied in completely stoic face. I can't really comment on the rest of the conversation because as soon as they started car talk I zoned out.

Staring out the window I watched people coming and going from the little shops lining the street. I could name most of the owners of the shops, if not the patrons themselves. I held comfort in that fact. If we knew each other, they couldn't hurt me. Everyone knew everyone's story, which was a blessing and a curse. If you wanted to know who the bad seeds were in town, you just asked around. On the other hand, you fuck up once, you carry that shame for the rest of you time in Charming. My heart spiked as I thought of what people must be saying about me, first because of Jax and then our arrest, which I knew was spreading through the grapevine already. I had noticed recently walking down the street faces that normally would give warm smiles now shone with disappointment. Had they thought I was just going through a phase?

As upsetting as this was, it was not as scary a prospect as what that letter from UCSD held. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life but for some reason I couldn't picture myself in any options in Charming. Run a store? Work in a factory like my Dad? Become a housewife like my mom, or worse yet, Gemma? I couldn't reconcile who I was with any of these options without a pulling sense of dread. And still through all of this, the thought of leaving Charming was almost unfathomable. I never felt like I fit in here, but leave? How would I start my life completely over? And Jax.

Since my mother had died I hadn't relied on anyone but myself. The only thing reliable about a drunk is that they will always love their booze more than you. But with Jax, I was falling. Not in love, I had already done that. I was falling into dependence and desperation. He was more than my booze; he was my air, my red blood cells, the electrical pulses that kept my heart beating. I had no idea where his future would lead him. He was incredibly bright; there would be moments when Jax would phase out in the middle of class. And when his attention spun around to the assignment at hand he would be able to perform the experiment perfectly, even modifying it to make it more accurate. And he could read till the sun came up.

Yet, he seemed perfectly content to work at TM for the rest of his life and submerge himself into SOA. I knew whatever path he followed, he would be fine as long as he kept his head on straight and refused to get baited into dangerous situations as I could tell he had a tendency to do.

"Hey! Tara!" I turned to seen Deena, Jax and Opie looking at me with the same confused expression. I gathered they had been calling me for a while

"You done, honey?" Deena's warm voice asked warily.

"Oh, yeah! Sorry!" I apologized passing her my plate.

"You ok, Darlin'?" Jax asked, "Where's your head?" The ketchup was still smeared on his cheek. Across from him Ope was having a hard time concealing the crinkling of his eyes and mouth in delight. I took a deep breath and smiled,

"Nowhere." I said airily, "Ready to go?"

"Yeah, maybe if we get started at TM, Clay will let us go early." Jax suggested to Opie before saying thanks to Deena and heading out of the small diner.

"Opie!" I hissed.

"If Deena didn't tell him, why should I?" He asked with innocent eyes. I didn't know what had gotten into him; he was particularly happy and playful today.

"Jax!" I called out. Hands in his front pockets he turned around to wait for me. I wiped the ketchup off with my finger showed him the ketchup and licked my finger.

"You rat bastard!" Jax joked as he spun towards Opie. "You were gonna let me just walk out there, weren't you?"

"If Deena didn't feel the need to say anything, why should I?" I followed the two out the door and smiled watching as they started to mock fight, shoving each other on the way to their bikes.

…

I dug through my bag to find my sleep clothes. Jax was out in the main room of the clubhouse hanging out with his brothers. While he had worked all day in the garage I caught up on schoolwork that I had been putting off for the past couple of days, only taking a few breaks to ogle him from afar. The door opened and Jax fell onto the bed with a loud groan. Wrapping myself up in one of Jax's oversized sweat shirts I crawled in after him.

"What did your mother say about us staying here?"

"Not much she can say. I don't want you to stay at your house, but she isn't going to change anytime soon so this is a happy medium." He said sighing and rolled on his stomach splaying his arm across my body. Absentmindedly I stroked his arm, gently playing with the blonde hairs.

"Do you ever think about the future?"

"Hmm?" Jax groaned into the pillow not sounding too enthusiastic about a conversation.

"Never mind, you're tired." Jax let out a long sigh before moving his head to face me.

"What's going on?" He rubbed his eyes.

"I don't know…"I whispered sinking down in the bed to be at his eye level. A wave of ease came over me when his still jean-clad leg wrapped around mine. Not sensually, more comforting and protective. The dark sheets and warm room swaddled me and took away my inhibitions, "I'm scared of losing myself in you. I want to be a part of you and for you to be a part of me; but, you are the first person I've come close to trusting in eight years. You can't hurt me." I finished seriously.

Jax moved closer to me so that we were both on our sides facing each other. One arm snaked under my neck and began to stroke my hair. The other rested on my ribs, his thumb dancing over the worn sweatshirt in small circles.

"I'm not going anywhere, Tara." He whispered and as his face nuzzled against mine I couldn't help but notice the last time I had felt this safe was when my mother was still alive. I left out a shuddering breath I had been holding, "I'm staying right here. I promise."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I don't own the Sons, though like many, I wish I did. I'm very unhappy with this chapter but again, I needed something to get us where we are going. I absolutely LOVED all of my reviews from chapter 9, they were all so thoughtful! I cannot wait to see what you guys have to say for chapter 10; I always love your constructive criticism! Also, don't forget to vote on the poll about Tara's arrest!**

**P.S. Happy Belated Saint Patrick's Day to all my fellow Irish(wo)men!**

…

If any bikers were still unaccustomed to having a young girl hanging around TM before, they weren't by now. Jax and I had been staying in the apartment for about three days. It had been fun essentially living together this week. The rest of it had passed pretty quietly, mainly I think, in part to our avoiding Gemma, which takes seriously hard work. We would wake up, go to school, Jax went to work while I did homework or errands for the clubhouse, like cleaning or cooking. Nobody had asked me to do so, but I felt bad staying there without repaying them in anyway. I had gathered it was very unorthodox for a young girl to be hanging around the clubhouse never mind staying there so I really wanted to make myself as little a burden as possible and show my appreciation. None of them seemed to mind as long as I stayed out of the way and kept quiet, which was in my nature already. I hadn't spoken to my father since the last time I saw him. I wondered how he was doing, if he was ok, if he was eating, how was doing the laundry, things like that.

What had come to astound me around the clubhouse however, was how much time the members and their friends spent in the clubhouse. Even when there was no pressing business or party you could always find someone hanging around. The men came and went as did the girls, though I had noticed something interesting about the women. At first they all appeared the same- scantily clad and loud- but if you looked closer they could be broken up into two distinct groups: the crow eaters and the "old ladies". Old ladies were the women who were committed not only to the life, but to the bikers they were with, sort of like bad-ass homemakers. Crow eaters were there for fun and entertainment- the thrill of the life and few were respected by the bikers.

It was trippy having to reconcile that way of life that Opie and Jax led, to the relatively normalness of high school. Kind of like seeing a clown in grocery store on their way home from work, everyone had to go to the grocery store but you don't expect to see clowns doing so.

Yet there they were, sitting at our normal table in the upperclassmen cafeteria eating the crappy pizza the school always served on Fridays. As I came near the table I was confused when someone was sitting in my chair; not too many people stopped by our table. The closer I got the more I recognized her.

"Well boys, think about it." Sadie Duncan winked, "Hey, Tara." She chimed before sauntering away. I lifted my eyebrows and took a seat, sipping my soda.

"I have to give it to her; I didn't know Sadie had the mental acuity to think, never mind promote it in others."

"It was nothing." Jax reassured me with a kiss.

"I know." I really did trust him. He might ogle others, and as much as that made me uncomfortable and insecure at times, I believed he would never cheat. Still, it was fun to make him squirm.

"So what are you guys up to tonight?" Opie asked wearing the same cheery smile he had on at the beginning of the week and I still had no idea why.

"We got church, bro." Jax reminded him.

"Shit, you're right." The smile on Opie's face disappeared and a look of disappointment quickly replaced it.

"You got any plan for tonight babe?" Jax asked as he stole a tomato from my salad.

"Yeah actually, Mrs. Henderson stopped me the other day and asked me to babysit her kids so I'm gonna head over there after school." I had been very surprised when she asked. Lately I had not been doing so well in the babysitting department and I wondered if it was because of my relationship with Jax, "I'll probably be done by 5."

"I can pick you up; I think we're having church early tonight; club's got something we got to do later on." Jax offered.

"Ok, sounds good." Opie still looked downtrodden as he sat in his chair slouching now picking at his pizza, "Hey, what's going on with you, Ope?"

"What _is_ up, bro? You've been acting like a chick all week!" said Jax earning a slight whap on the chest from me. Opie shot him daggers before sitting up and leaning on the table with his elbows, hunched over like he was going to share a deep dark secret.

"You remember that blonde from Monday?" He asked gruffly with embarrassment.

"You're getting strung out over a chick?" Jax exclaimed with amusement. I tsk-ed Jax for laughing at Opie.

"Like you have much room to talk…" An interesting look passed between Jax and Opie, "anyways," He continued, "we've been talking this week and we were supposed to hang tonight."

"Dude, just bring her to the party after church." Jax said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yeah, but she has this friend who doesn't approve of the whole biker scene. I guess they're really close. She doesn't want to go if her friend doesn't want her to go, so we were gonna meet up at the movies or some shit like that."

"That sounds like an awful lot of drama for a girl you just met, Ope." Jax said starting on his second piece of pizza.

"How can you eat so much?" I asked him astounded.

"Gotta keep my energy up." His eyebrows wiggled. "Stop!" I hissed imploringly. I knew Jax nor Ope cared, but still didn't feel like making open jokes about our sex life.

"Anyways," I began pointedly, "I think that if you really like her, you know…go along with it. She probably is just putting you through the ringer to see what you actually want. I mean, you guys to have a rather…_promiscuous_… reputation. She's more than likely just making sure that you aren't going to hit it and quit it." The boys looked at me surprised, "I learned that from you." Jax shook his head with the corners of his mouth twitching.

"Your choice dude, if you wanna do more than 'hit it and quit it'" He said with a smile in my direction, "then take her to the movies." Brilliance struck me then.

"Hey! How about if we came with you? Like a double date! She could even bring her friend along." Ope pondered it for a second.

"That actually could work. I'll set it up."

"I'm not seeing any stupid chick flick though." Jax insisted. Ope wasn't gonna get the girl thanks to some stupid ass movie they would want to see.

"Even if I ask nicely?" Lust burned in Jax's eyes.

Ope laughed as he left to throw his tray away. "Whipped."

…

It was 5:15 and Jax wasn't at the Henderson's yet. Which wasn't really that big of a problem because neither were the Hendersons. However the twin four year olds Dustin and Toby were getting hungry and running around and the one year old baby Hannah was soon approaching melt-down mode. In the midst of rocking Hannah back and forth and separating the boys with one hand before they killed one another the door bell rang. I sped to the door expecting to see the Hendersons.

"Thank god you're here." I said to Jax as he walked through the door peering around the house. Not quite the Hendersons but close enough. I hadn't heard the bike approach over the giggling of the boys and crying of the baby.

"Hendersons not home yet?"

"No, I don't know where they are." I answered before hearing a bang, like someone falling down, in the living room. "Here, take her." I said passing the baby to Jax.

"I don't do babies." He said his face alight with fear.

"Just rock her for a second!" I called as I ran towards the living room. Nobody was hurt; the boys were just rolling around on the ground wrestling. After physically separating them I pointed them towards the door of the living room. "Look who's here to play with you! It's Jax!" I exclaimed excitingly as if he were a new toy. At this point I didn't even feel bad about pimping him out. Those boys were menaces. As the kids tried to attack him, I deftly maneuvered the baby out of Jax's arms, "Me and Hannah are going to go get her changed and then what about some Mac n' Cheese for dinner?" What four year old would refuse Mac n' Cheese?

Thankfully after the baby was changed she quieted down and I was able to cook in relative peace. In the living room Jax was entertaining the boys. They would charge at him and he would flip them over his arm before tossing them onto the couch. They laughed and laughed and yelled for him to do it again and again. I smiled watching how good Jax was with the kids.

"Dinner's ready!" I called out to them while setting the baby in her high chair. Jax strolled in with one arm wrapped around each boy's torso as they pretended to fly. The kids snarfed down their macaroni while I fed Hannah a jar of baby food.

"What is that?" Jax asked disgusted.

"It's green beans." I said in a goofy voice for the baby's benefit, which backfired as she laughed and dribbled food down her face. Jax took the jar from my hands and cautiously smelled it.

"Ugh! It does not smell like green beans." He said emphatically handing it back to me. After the kids were all fed Jax continued to play with the boys while I put Hannah down. It was nearly 7:00 when the front door opened loudly alerting me and Jax to someone entering the house.

"Hello?" I called out as we walked into the hallway. Mrs. Henderson appeared around the corner her eyes rimmed in red.

"Sorry I'm late. Jim's father had a stroke." Mr. Henderson's father was well known around Charming. He was a nice and gentle old man.

"Oh, it's no problem! Is he going to be ok?" I asked sincerely.

"The doctors think so. They said it was minor and he got to the hospital in time, so he should make a full recovery."

"That's great!"

"Yes. Thank you for staying by the way; you rea- oh! Hello, Jackson." Apparently she hadn't seen him standing behind me. She nodded curtly in his direction.

"Hey, Mrs. Henderson."

"Jax stopped by to pick me up and was waiting with me." I began since she obviously was curious and not really comfortable with him being in the house.

"Oh, no worries!" She smiled brightly. "Well here you go!" she tried to pay me but I refused. The kids might have been a hassle but a sick and elderly family member would get expensive quick.

"The kids all ate and Hannah is already in bed and asleep." I informed her as we got our jackets on.

"Great! Boys, come say bye to Tara!" Mrs. Henderson called to the kitchen. The twins came charging into the room and wrapped themselves around mine and Jax's legs.

"Bye!" They yelled as we closed the door to the house.

"I'm wiped." Jax sighed hopping on his bike.

"Me too." I yawned wrapping myself around Jax. The low rumbling of the motorcycle threatened to put me to sleep and we still had a movie to go to later. Once we arrived at TM Jax said a few pleasantries to some of the brothers who were partying but quickly led me to the apartment. Reclining on the bed he watched as I changed the shirt that had unfortunately fallen victim to green bean mush.

"I have no idea how such little people can have so much energy in them." When he didn't reply I expected him to be asleep already, it was hard work throwing toddlers on a couch for two hours. But when I turned around Jax was wide awake staring at me with a half smile.

"You know how beautiful you are?" He growled with that magnetic voice of his.

"Doesn't hurt to hear." I said crawling over the bed and straddling him, my long hair proving a curtain blocking us away from the world as I leaned over him. His strong hands pulled against my cold and wind-whipped face, the metal of his rings giving me a chill. He followed one long and deep kiss with three smaller ones.

"You're beautiful." Jax rasped out of breath.

"What time do you have to meet the guys?" I asked Jax. It always bugged me that he couldn't tell me what was up with him and the club.

"Not till 8:30" I glanced at the alarm clock on the table which flashed in bright neon blue 7:28. I threaded my fingers through Jax's.

"What are we gonna do until then?" I asked and without warning Jax flipped us over.

"I might have a few ideas."

…

"This is nice" Jax garbled nearly incoherently as he neared sleep. On the other side of the apartment door the noise from the party was dying down as the guys prepared to leave. I nested into his arms and the soft blankets after a heavy and wonderful petting session.

"Yeah…" I tried to commit this moment to memory. This mild discomfort of my arm falling asleep as I laid on it, the way I could feel the heat of his breath on the top of my head, the thrumming of his heartbeat.

"You know that I'm going to have to go back home soon though, right?" Jax was silent. "He needs me, Jax; and I can't stay here in the club house forever."

"I know." His arms unconsciously constricted tighter around me. "I don't want you to." He spoke solemnly

"I know." I soothed. With a groan he tore himself apart from me and stood in front of his dresser suiting up._ How did you, Tara Knowles, land someone so perfect?_

"You know how beautiful you are?" I half laughed as I quoted his earlier cheesy line. He threw me a grin over his shoulder as he continued to dress. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, babe." He said sincerely.

"Why are you so young compared to the rest of SAMCRO? I mean, everyone else is in at least their 40s and you're only almost 18." I didn't know if that was asking too much but I figured I'd risk it. He didn't answer for a bit but then seemed to say "screw it" to himself.

"My dad started the club, so did Ope's, Clay and some other guys. Normally you have to be 18 at least to start prospecting, but legacies get cut some slack. They know we aren't going to quit or anything; we're in it for life." That caught my attention.

"So…no college?" I asked innocently.

"Ha! Can you really picture me slumming it with a bunch of entitled know-it-alls?" Truth be told, I couldn't.

"I guess not…but you would be good at school." Jax chuckled as he nonchalantly put a knife into a holster resting on his ankle. "You show me up in Chemistry all the time."

"Yeah, I'm a regular Einstein."

"Jax, we're movin' out!" Clay called from outside the door.

"A'ight, be there in a minute!" With a quick kiss he headed towards the door. "Don't wait up,"

"OK, be careful, Jax." I wasn't sure where they were going but judging by how he armed up, careful was warranted.

"You know it, Darlin'" He winked.

Soon the ruckus from the guys was quieting, followed by the thundering of a dozen motorcycles leaving the lot. When I was sure they were gone I crawled out of bed and found my bag. I took out the manila folder buried at the bottom of the bag and sat at the dimly lit desk.

My finger traced over the UCSD Department of Admissions embossing. With a glance back to unmade bed, I put my pen to the paper and began filling out the form.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I don't own the Sons, though like many, I wish I did. Here it comes: the shit hitting the fan chapter you've all been waiting for…**

…

It was late. Far too late for anyone to be up. My eyes fluttered open as the bed sagged down.

"Jax?" I groaned. The bright lights from the alarm clock beamed 3:47 AM. He made no noise as he sat on the edge of the bed, his shoulders slumped and his face in his hands.

"Go back to sleep, Tara." He sounded exhausted; then again it was 3:45 in the morning.

"You ok?" Jax didn't respond but as my eyes adjusted to the light I could see his shoulders expanding and contracting as he took long deep breaths. Slowly I crawled and knelt behind him. I reached my right hand out and tentatively touched his shoulder. When he didn't pull away I rolled my hand forward and across, over the front of his chest. My left hand grazed his side before moving under his arm and wrapping around his torso as well. Gently I placed my chin on his shoulder. I hugged him to me for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, he sighed and sat up, unwrapping my arms from his body.

"Let's go to sleep." He whispered in the dark. He kicked his shoes, pants and sweatshirt off then laid down in the bed staring at the ceiling. He looked over at me and gave me a sad grin then pulled me into him. He seemed to relax after a while, the harsh breaths unwinding against my back. I had no idea why he was coming in so late or why he was so tense but I knew the last thing either of us wanted was to talk about it at 4:00 in the morning. Whatever it was, it could wait until morning.

"I love you, Jax…" I said softly before falling asleep.

…

Things between me and Jax had reached an uncomfortable standstill after the near showing of strong emotion. It seemed like the return of the morning sun was accompanied by the return of the wall Jax had built around himself. I tried to ask him if he was alright, ask what had gone on the night before.

"Nothing," He had said dismissively with a fake smile. His long arms had reached out, pulling me across the bed and drawing me into him. However, when I brushed the flaxen hair out of his eyes the comforting gleam that normally resided in them was gone.

He stiffly got out of bed and continued the day as if nothing had happened.

The next day he dropped me off at my house, once again, unwillingly. Resting our heads together Jax held mine steady between his hands.

"I love you…" He had whispered running his thumbs along my lips. I was too scared to leave him or this moment.

"I love you too." He kissed my forehead gently and turned me around before giving me a little slap on the ass to get me moving. I spun on him as he gave a playful chuckle.

"Go on, Tara." He said with a knowing smile nodding towards the house.

…

The next four of months passed in a weird sort of time warp and before I knew it, it was Mid-March of my senior year. Mine and Jax's relationship also did some weird morphing as the months passed; it was like we hit a Pleasantville plateau. We laughed, held hands, kissed, made out, had sex; there was no lack of affection. But something had felt jilted in the months that had passed, like our relationship had taken on some fake veneer. We didn't talk about anything hard or argue anymore. The first few days after Jax had come into our dorm room sullen, and seemingly frightened, I'd pressed him for what had happened. When he couldn't tell me what was he was going through or doing, either for his own reasons or the club's, I would get frustrated. But after a few weeks of this back and forth, I eventually just gave up, resigning myself to the fact that things were the way they were and they sure as hell weren't going to change by me nagging him.

He got enough nagging from Gemma. That woman was like a real life sea saw. One minute she was frigid, as hateful, unwelcoming and spiteful as could be. This added a dash of tension between me and Jax. Obviously he loved his mother very much, as he should, but a teenage relationship is hard enough as it is even without the added pressure of disapproving legal guardians. Then, on the drop of a dime Gemma would turn sickly sweet, to the point where you had to question her motives. Did she want us together or not?

On the upside, this was never a question we had to ask about my father. He hadn't turned completely sober but he rarely got piss himself and throw up drunk anymore. Still, he was the picture perfect definition of a drunk and disengaged Daddy. Half of the time, Jax could crawl in through the window and spend the night. After gradually testing the waters we found that Jax could walk through the front door, sleep over; even have breakfast without my dad caring. We didn't know if he was too drunk, too oblivious or too apathetic to notice.

I was currently getting ready to go out with Jax, Opie, Opie's date and her friend. After four months, Ope had finally gotten his act together and asked her out, and found a day when all of us were free.

The doorbell rang as I put the finishing touches into my hair. I hurried to the door, hoping to beat my dad. A warm breeze gusted into the house and after a particularly cold winter the spring air was much appreciated. My voice caught in my throat as I took in the sight of him. He looked no different than normal, black baseball cap, dark blue hoodie, cut, loose jeans and light sneakers; and yet I still couldn't breathe.

"He-Hey!" I squeaked out. Jax leaned over gripping my hip with one hand and laid a kiss just below my earlobe. I sighed in delight while he leaned around me and checked out the living room.

"Hey Mr. Knowles." My father peaked over the newspaper he was reading, glass of bourbon standing guard next to him. My father nodded in acknowledgement. I had no idea where he stood in respect to Jax. We rarely spoke these days outside of meal choices, and if we did, the last thing either of us wanted to discuss was my love life. "We should get goin', Babe."

"Yeah." I debated whether I should say any goodbye to my dad but he seemed pretty content nursing his crystal glass without any disruptions. Rolling my eyes to myself I followed Jax out the door and to the bike.

I couldn't help but think of a term we had learned in psychology that week as we pulled into the movie theater parking lot. Cognitive dissonance was when anxiety spurred from one's contradicting beliefs and actions or other beliefs. That might begin to explain how awkward Opie looked standing outside with the blonde, her more petite brunette friend and what I assumed was the petite girl's boyfriend.

"Jax, Tara, this is Monica," Opie introduced the blonde who then took over introducing everyone, "This is my best friend Donna and her… Tom!" The pitch of Monica's voice seemed to annoy Tom who did not seem to want to be there. Donna looked really shy so I was sure to give her a big smile when I shook her hand. She reminded me of how I felt sometimes, completely confused as to why she was standing in the midst of group of rough and tumble bikers and in way over her head.

Jax, Opie, Tom and I could really care less about what ever movie we were going to see so we let the girls chose; or rather let Monica declare. She ended up picking out some sappy movie about long lost lovers from World War II but I didn't end up seeing most of the movie. After doing 2 hours of cleaning followed by 5 straight hours of studying history this afternoon, I was dead tired. I feel asleep curled up in my chair with my head on Jax's shoulder no more than 15 minutes into the movie, his giant sweatshirt acting as a blanket for me in the cold air conditioned theater.

I began to dream hands down one of the strangest dreams I had ever had. Jax and I were sprawled out under the tree in the meadow we regularly visited, enjoying each other's company and touch. He smiled and then rolled over facing away from me. I leaned up on one elbow and peering over his body I saw none other than Sadie Duncan. Jax's body was curled around hers in the same way it had just been around mine while he whispered the same things to her that he had just said to me. Then it got super weird. One second he was there and the next I was laying next to a ferocious sandy-furred dog, Sadie nowhere in sight. It's jowls foamed as they pulled back to let out a fierce snarl. I jumped up and started to crawl backwards away from the mangy dog as he advanced slowly, stalking me out like a lion in the savannah. Suddenly it lunged forward spreading it's strong jaws and aiming for my throat.

Waking up with a gasp, I startled Jax who seemed to be falling into a slumber too.

"You ok?" He whispered peering at me curiously as I caressed my throat. I looked at him with wide eyes forcing the image of the feral dog out of my mind.

"Yeah, baby, I'm fine," I smiled rubbing his cheek. "Strange dream."

He gave me a reassuring smile, ruffled my hair, and then slouched back into his seat pulling the bill of his cap a little lower. The movie seemed to be coming to a close; I didn't realize how long I had been out for. The lovers were running through an old fashioned train station looking for each other.

I wondered how Ope was doing. Looking down the aisle his eyes were not focused on Monica, who was tearing up over the horrible acting, but rather on Donna. Donna's eyes were trained on the screen even though that wasn't where her attention stood. Tom's hand was resting on her knee and slowly moving up the bare skin of her leg towards her short clad thighs. When he got too far for her comfort, which to anyone with any semblance of intuition was when he put his hand on her leg in the first place, Donna would pick up his hand up off her lap and toss it into his. This dance continued until she finally got up and left the theater followed closely by Tom.

I quickly looked at Opie who's face scrunched up in anger before he followed Tom. Knowing where this would lead, I shook Jax who hadn't even noticed Opie leaving though they were seated next to each other.

"It over?" Jax mumbled.

"No, but Tom is gonna be." I pointed to the small train of people leaving each equally pissed.

"Shit!" Jax jumped up and followed after the group. I followed leaving Monica behind and confused.

"Get away from me!" Donna screeched at Tom in the middle of the lobby as he grabbed her upper arm. Thankfully the lobby was mostly empty, even though it was a Saturday night. Out of nowhere Opie pulled her in the other direction and brought his elbow across the other man's face with the full force of his body. A sick crunch reverberated through the room. Before he could inflict any more damage Jax pulled him back. Monica, who had rushed in after us, fell to the ground and inspected Tom's nose. Looking up at Opie she yelled, "What the fuck, asshole?"

He merely looked down Tom who was now bleeding from his nose all over himself. "I suggest you leave now." His closed his eyes while his chest huffed. His demeanor changed as he faced Donna.

"You need a ride?" He asked shyly, almost ashamed of his outburst.

"Yeah." She answered surprised. Though it was debatable if she was shocked over the fact that he offered or that she was accepting. He came over and pulled Jax into a man hug and nodded towards me,

"See you later, Brother. Bye, Tara." Myself a little surprised as well at how this night ended choked out a "Bye, Ope."

Jax took one last look at the creep who laid on the ground and snorted in amusement as Monica continued to fret over him. "You ready to go, Babe?" Jax asked nuzzling into my hair. The image of the dog flashed through my mind.

"Yeah, I'm good." Pulling into my driveway I noticed the garage door was open, the cutlass gone and the door that led from the garage to the house was also wide open. Neither myself or Jax were worried about robbers, we knew exactly who had left the house open and vulnerable.

"You want me to stay?" Jax asked even though he was already dismounting the bike.

"Of course." I smiled leading him into the house. Tiredly I shuffled into the kitchen and began to brew some coffee while Jax took a seat at the little table in the middle of the kitchen.

"Anything good in there?" I motioned to the pile of mail on the table. Jax thumbed through the pile.

"What is this?" I couldn't pinpoint the emotion in his words. It seemed like an odd mix of anger, confusion, frustration, anxiousness and pain. I slowly to find him holding up a packet. Sprawled on the package in writing that looked like it was trying to be "hip" read the words "UCSD: We'll C U here!"

"I-I ap-pplied to USCD." I stumbled terrified of his reaction.

"Well, congratulations, looks like you got in." Needless to say his tone seemed anything but congratulatory, "So when were you planning on letting me know? Or were you just going to move on out of Charming without so much as a backwards glance?" He wasn't yelling necessarily but the calmness with which he spoke was almost more unnerving than if he was. And still a little part of me thrummed inside, we were finally talking about something aside from how much we wanted the other.

"Of course not! Don't be stupid, Jax! It's just… I mean look around us!" My voice rose slightly as I gestured to the outdated kitchen and messy living room. "I don't think I could handle it if this is all my life ever amounted to; cleaning up mess after mess, seeing the same people day after day, it's like living on a fucking compound!"

"What are you even going to do there?" Jax asked confused.

"What? You don't think I'm smart enough to go to college?" I asked astounded. Now it was his turn to chew on his words.

"That's not what I said Tara!" He shouted standing up.

"Sure as hell sounded like it!" I retorted.

"I just meant," He spoke low and slowly, "what good is going there? What is it going to get you?" I stared wide eyed at him in disbelief.

"An education, Jax! It will get me an education!" I said incredulous, "So I can, I don't know, _do_ something for the world! I honestly don't get what you're freaking out about!"

"You were gonna leave without saying anything Tara-" Jax began to shout

"No I was not!" I yelled over him.

"-You were gonna leave without saying so much as goodbye." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes trying to compose myself.

"Jax, I obviously going to tell you. But I figured why get you all riled up if I didn't even know if I was going to get in."

"Well, you did, so what now?" He stared me down; waiting for answer- I had none. "I'm gonna go." He said in a near whisper after a minute.

"Jax!" He walked through the house not saying a word. "JAX!"

A few months ago, if he had stormed out of my house, not uttering a word as I shouted for him to come back I probably would have been reduced to tears; but as it was I squashed the growing feelings of anger and resentment, put on a pair of sweats and went to bed.

…

The feelings of anger had subsided with sleep but the morning brought on a whole new batch of guilt. I felt no remorse for not telling Jax about UCSD but rather for hurting him in the process and the feeling only grew worse as the day went on. By noon I was itching in my skin. I stepped outside preparing to walk to the center of town but found the cutlass parked haphazardly in the garage keys still in the ignition, my father nowhere in sight.

I climbed into the stifling car and headed towards TM replaying all of the things we had said last night and words I would have to say to Jax to rectify the situation. Once at the garage I took off my sunglasses and walked hurriedly into the garage scanning the dirty faces for my favorite. The one that could make the synapses in my brain stop firing just by looking away. Not seeing him, I scoured the lot for Jax's motorcycle. I really didn't want to go into the clubhouse without him to ask if he was there, and the guys in the bay looked awfully busy.

Sucking up my pride I walked towards the door of the office and knocked on the doorframe.

"Hey Gemma, I'm looking for Jax, have you seen him?" I asked as sweetly as I could, albeit anxiously.

"Why sweetheart, something wrong?" Gemma inquired obviously feigning innocence. I took a breath, giving myself a few seconds to kill the words I wanted to yell at her.

"Just looking for him is all" I said through a tight smile. Her own creeping across her mouth Gemma replaced her glasses on her little nose and looked back at me over them.

"Bunch of the guys headed into town."

"Thanks!" I shouted over my shoulder running to the car. The guilt was reaching an intolerable level at this point. The harder I tried to compress the feeling down the worse I felt.

Once I reached the main drag in town I searched the storefronts for leather and strained my ears listening for the thundering sound of a pack of motorcycles. Finally I found a crowd of them parked uniformly outside Lumpy's. Not even stopping to see if Jax was in the group collecting outside I parked the car and hurried across the road.

Just as I approached the median on the empty street I spotted him, leaning on the old stone retaining wall surrounding the back half of the building. There he leaned relaxed, as cool as can be; his feet shoulder width apart with none other than Sadie Duncan standing in between them. And as she leaned in to lay light kisses on his ear, I spotted something on his face, in his eyes that I hadn't seen for four months.

A gleam.

The torrent of emotion that ripped through me was unlike anything I had previously experienced. Stunned to my core, it was like the soles of my boots melted to asphalt right where they stood, unable to shift. Gone was the guilt I had felt just moments before. Instead the heavy cloak of wrath draped itself over my shoulders, suffocating the logic and rational thought that normally dominated my body. I felt light headed as if I was unable to breathe. Supersensitive and hyper-aware I could feel my cells crying out for oxygen. Stupid cells, couldn't they see what was happening right before us? He was doing exactly what he promised he wouldn't do, broken the little faith I bestowed upon him. What did oxygen matter when your world was shattering already?

A car horn honked and I realized I was still standing in the middle of the road. The anguish I had fought so hard to control last night tore threw me and before I knew it I was walking with deadly assurance towards Sadie Duncan.

Instinctively I reached my left hand out, clasping it tight around her neck and threw her onto the sidewalk with all of the force I could muster.

* * *

**A/N: How do you like them apples? I'm having trouble writing the actual fight scene but I figured this was long enough to stand on it's own, plus I hadn't updated in forever. The next chapter might be pretty short though, so, sorry! As always, please remember to review the chapter for what you did or didn't like and don't forget to vote for our running poll on my profile!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I don't own the Sons, though like many, I wish I did.**

**I kind of wrote myself into a hole last chapter and I've been trying to write my way out for the last month. This is like the tenth incarnation of this chapter and I'm still not happy at all with it; it's a wee bit short, but I think it'll do for now. **

**As always review, review, review! They always inspire me to write that much quicker! This reminds me: thank you to everyone who wrote in making sure I'd continue the story. So, sorry for the wait, but I promise I will not give up on this story, it WILL get finished :)**

…

Completely blind-sided, Sadie put up no fight as I descended on her.

"Jesus Christ, Tara!" Jax yelled pulling me off the poor girl who was now sporting a quickly swelling eye and split lip. A growl literally ripped from the back of my throat as I turned on Jax, whose arms were wrapped around my waist. I spun and shoved him back with two properly formed fists.

"You, you…" My mind wasn't working, blinded by rage.

"Fucker?" I heard Tig offer behind us. My brain started to register that there were was a leather-clad audience around us but quite honestly, I didn't care.

"You are such a _jackass_!" I shouted shoving him some more.

"Tara, calm down." He growled using his authoritative voice, the one he used on others weaker than him, while grabbing my forearms. God help him if he thought that was going to make me "calm down". Unconsciously my hand pulled out of his grasp and drew itself across Jax's stunned face.

"One fight and you throw yourself at the nearest whore?" I shrieked.

"You're the one who wanted out!" He bellowed in my face. As he yelled I could see him holding himself back, fighting the instinct to physically defend himself, even after I hit him. A flicker of thanks passed through the back of my brain.

"When did I _ever_ say that, Jax? When did I _ever_ say I didn't want to be with you?" I hollered at the top of my lungs. The joking, teasing and light expressions of the men surrounding us had turned serious. Gravely, they watched our unraveling with the passerby's who were attracted to our demise like moths to a flame.

"You as good as said so when you went behind my back and made plans that didn't fucking involve me!" Jax spat his arms spread wide as he took an aggravated step towards me.

"This is insane." I muttered turning around to leave. He was being juvenile and ridiculous; how could he ever think that I didn't want him in my life? A sturdy hand clasped around my wrist and tugged me back.

I my head snapped back to Jax's face which was flickering between shock and anger.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Unser quickly hobbled over, "What the hell's going on over here?" I could see Clay and the others slowly crouching forward. Jax tore his eyes away from mine.

"Nothing."

"Lover's spat." Clay spoke up.

"Yeah, well this lover's spat is ending up with you two spending the night in Charming PD." That caught my attention.

"Wait, what are you talking about? Why?" Anger and tension were rippling through Jax's jaw.

"You kidding me? Disturbing the peace, public disturbance, _assault_; take your pick!"

"Assault! Why? She's fine!" Tig reach down and pulled a forgotten Sadie to her feet, "You're fine, right kiddo?" He asked dusting her off. She looked at him wide-eyed and nodded in compliance.

Unser's voice lowered with his head as he leaned in towards Clay, "That's fine and all but this little scene of yours attracted quite an audience. I can't just let y'all stride away."

After a bit of dog and pony showing by the Charming PD, Jax and I were unloaded and led through the station to the back where the cells were. With a sigh Unser opened a cell door and stepped aside as I passed by him and sat contemptuously on the small cot. When Jax didn't move he nodded impatiently towards the cell.

"You're kidding me, right?" Jax questioned. When he received no reply Jax shuffled into the cell glaring as he leaned quietly against the cold cinderblock wall. Unser looked disappointed and tired, per usual, as he closed the door, locking us in the same cell.

"Look, I got no idea what's going on between you two kids. All I know is for the past couple a months, the two of yous have been happier than I can remember since your parents died." He said somberly pulling his pants up a bit by his belt, "So just…I don't know…take some time and cool down. Then work out whatever's been eating at you. Alright?" He gruffed uncomfortably.

After he left us to our own devices Jax and I stayed in a prickly silence for what seemed like hours. With the tension mounting, each tick of the clock felt like water torture. I tried not to look at him, to ignore him, to forget his very existence. I was making some progress when I heard him scoff. I looked up to find him staring at me with a sardonic smile twitching across his face.

"What?" I asked him, biting back the venom I wanted to yell at him with.

"Nothing." He answered with a wry shake of his head.

"So, tell me, how many were there?"

"How many what?" He challenged, kicking off the wall and turning to face me. His arms crossed in from of him defensively. He knew exactly what I was talking about. He wanted to make me say it, face him head on; he was testing very dangerous waters.

"How many other girls?" I spoke evenly my eyes trained on his, pronouncing each syllable with unmistakable clarity.

"Are you serious?" The look of contempt on my face must have told him I was. "None, Tara! Jesus Christ, do you seriously have that little trust in me? In anyone?" He shouted.

"Well you're not doing much in the way of stopping that, are you? Is it really so outlandish that I would be concerned when you have some girl draped over you with half your ear in her mouth?" Jax opened his mouth to interrupt, but standing up I continued, cutting him off harshly, "And speaking of little trust, I seem to remember this _whole_ argument jumping off when you threw a hissy fit like a four-year-old and stomped off without so much as a backwards glance _all because _I sent in a college application! I mean Jesus Christ, Jax! Who does that?"

"Someone who loves you and doesn't want to be apart from you! That's who!" Jax bellowed, squaring his chest to me, "I want to be with you, Tara!" The sheer emotion on his face stopped me short, never mind his words. After being on this sickening see-saw month after month- debating in my head: should I stay or should I leave- one thing was clear: Jax loved me and I loved him. It was a truth that seemed to keep slamming into me at 70 mph, pulling me back in when my reason-filled head was screaming "Run for the hills, this won't last and you won't survive it!" But this bullshit as we so eloquently put kept stepping in our way. Maybe we were stepping in our way; maybe _I _was stepping in our way.

Drawing in an unsteady breath I pulled my eyes up to his, "So what now?" Jax moved woodenly to sit on the edge of the cot, stretching his long legs.

"How long do you have till you have to give them an answer?"

"Mid May." I spoke quietly. Jax thought for a long while, rubbing the back of his head before he straightened back up. His eyes looked more peaceful as he reached out for my hand, tugging me to sit down beside him.

"Listen, let's just…_live_ for the next two months, fix this weirdness between us, forget about the past and what's sure to be the fucked up future. I think it's obvious we suck at planning, babe." I gave into a little chuckle as his shoulder rubbed against mine. "Let's just go day by day and when we get to the end of two months, we'll see what happens." He shrugged.

"I can live with that…no more floozies though." I gave a chuckle as he crossed his heart his signature lazy smile.

"How's your hand?" He asked as he picked it up, inspecting the cuts and bruises, and laid gentle kisses on each knuckle.

"Little better now." I sighed contently as he rubbed the sore joints tenderly. "This is doing wonders for your tough guy image, you know: worrying over me leaving, nursing me back to health … what will the kids on the playground say?"

"I'm not worried about it, my girl's got a possessive streak and a vicious right hook." He laughed against my hand before he leaned in for a kiss. And as he inched closer and closer, his eyes searching mine, I saw in them something I had been missing for months, a gleam. I was home.

…

I shut the door as softly as I could behind me, tip-toeing through the dark living room into the kitchen as quietly as possible.

"Where you been?" A gravelly voice called from couch.

"Hey, Dad, you scared me! I was just out late with Jax." I said softly trying to assess his sobriety level. "What are you still doing up?"

"I gotta call earlier, from Unser." I closed my eyes bracing myself for whatever was going to come, "Arrested two times in less than six months, I'm sure both times with _him._" He emphasized with a jerky head nod to the door.

"Sorry, Dad, but after 17 years you don't get to play the concerned father card." I spoke tiredly and with the surprising absence of malice. "Why don't we just head to bed?"

"What would your mother say, Tara?"

"I don't know, Dad, she's not here." I said, exasperated. It was late and this was not the optimal ending to a rough day. "What are you trying to get at?" He groaned standing up.

"I'm not a great father, I'm barely even adequate; but, I do know when something isn't right with my kid. And you? Getting arrested? Well, something ain't right in that picture, Tara." He answered, laying a hand on my shoulder as he walked by, "I'm heading to bed."

With that he left me standing in the middle of a dark living room, confused and stunned, pondering how far I had truly come within the day, and how far I had come from myself.


End file.
